


You Love Me!?

by charmed4fiction



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Adult Content, Declarations Of Love, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:53:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6173599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed4fiction/pseuds/charmed4fiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy Mustang "Flame Alchemist" will he finally risk everything for a secret he'd kept hidden so well for many years or will it remain his forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Sir, would you like for me to RSVP?”

“To what?” Roy peered up at Hawkeye curiously.

“The invitation, Sir, It’s been resting on your desk for the past two months,” Riza replied.

If being deliberately obtuse to what his Lieutenant was asking him unusual, then consider it to be his latest trait when confronted with questions about a five-by-seven white, linen envelope, that was burning a hole on his desk. The mere mention of the forsaken invite left an awful taste in his mouth. His mind told him otherwise, that although he should be happy for the future proceedings, and he was, his heart was completely on the opposing end, reminding him of a truth that never once made it to the light, but shrouded in complete darkness.

“The event is only a week from today. I would think that they would appreciate your appearance. If you would rather not attend, then I should send your regards, Sir.” Riza gazed at him with the most innocent brown eyes, but under that look liked something more like, “Sir it’s very dishonorable not to show you face.”

Riza didn’t know what truth clashed between his heart and mind, but she was thoughtful, and he was grateful. He was a master of masks, and this is a reality that he’d never let slipped once, even for someone like Hawkeye, who knew him well enough to know when he was hiding something.

“Lieutenant, as much as would like to take a couple of days off for sentimental affairs, there is too much going on presently.” He waved his hand nonchalantly at the stacks of paperwork across the table. “Not to mention Grumman will be meeting with parliament in two weeks.”

“Surely, Sir, those can be all sorted out before the week is over and I’m confident that the Fuhrer will not admonish the likeness of your absence. You haven’t taken any time off in two years. The country will still be here when you return,” she responded with an amused smile.

“Very well,” he sighed, rubbing the side of his forehead, “Please send my RSVP for one, and Lieutenant this matter is over.”

“Yes, Sir. I’ll see to it personally that it is mail out no later than today and I’m delighted in your reply.”

“Is that all, Lieutenant?” Roy asked and drew in a long breath, not bothering to hide the weariness in his tone.

“Yes, Sir,” she said and saluted before turning to leave the confines of his office.

Roy returned to signing some documents and after he heard the sound of the tumblers clicking into place of the lock to the door, he dropped his head into his hands.

'What did I just signed myself up for?’ he thought, feeling a headache come on.

There was a death sentence waiting patiently when all this was over and done; he just knew it.

 

~o~

 

Roy was born and raised in the city and traveling by train was never something he quite enjoyed. The seats were uncomfortable and the constant jostling of the rail wheels, rattling across the tracks, left him feeling nauseated. He could find solace that he was sitting in a private cabin, but that did not hamper down his irritability disposition. The journey is supposed to take five hours but seldom does it, with passengers disembarking and boarding, added another hour to the already far too long commute.

The train juddered along, leaving the bustling city of Central behind, and passes through East City, making its way over bridges and weaving its way through mountains. Roy leaned his head against the carriage window and watched as smaller cities roll past like a blur. The scenery outside was changing, no longer were the houses densely packed, but was separating by several miles. They spread out, leaving vast expanses of greenery speckled with nature's beauty. Each farmhouse like an island surrounded by prairies, plains, and trees, which blanket rolling mountains painting a picturesque backdrop. Rice paddies littered the land, farmers getting ready for harvest, tilling their fields and the rare wildlife popping their heads up from grazing. He spotted a hawk swooping down into a lake, capturing a fish in its talons, one behind soaring gracefully, no doubt keen on taking the easy prey.

Despite the atheistically pleasing landscape outside, beautiful sunshine a few wispy clouds scudding across an azure sky, Roy still felt constrained. Hawkeye kept reminding him that it was going to be a lovely weekend, but all he felt was the weight of the invitation in his breast pocket, subjugating against his heart. Why did he bring the object of his heart imprisonment with him? This was one of those times that the answer eluded him along with the power of rational thought.

Inside the private carriage, the Lieutenant was detailing the weekend itinerary to the rest of his subordinates. There was something comforting hearing them a talk about the planned activities. Though his mood is already dampening, they all were congruously cheerful.

He tried to sign a couple of last minutes requisition forms, but the words on the pages glared at him, his mind entirely miles away. He felt his eyes succumb to sleep and he dozed off, despite the scrapes and screeching of the moving train.

 

~o~

 

It’s two-thirty in the afternoon when the train finally pulled into the small depot. Roy stepped onto to the platform; it was nothing like Central. No hustle and bustle of passengers bumping into each other, no noise of the several steam trumpets indicating their exit or entry. No line of people waiting for tickets, no family members waiting to see their loved one's board or smiles of when they get off the train. It’s still, just the chatter of the rest of the party retrieving their luggage and the conductor waving a hearty goodbye, giving the Engineer an all clear signal to leave.

It had been about eight years since he last set foot on the dusty trails of Resembool. It’s the same as he remembered. It’s like time has stopped here, keeping the town isolated from the harshness of the changing world around.

A lone ticket-master is sitting in the shade of the station on a bench reading a newspaper. From the looks of the front page headline “Former State Alchemist...”. He didn’t need to read the remaining text; they are committed to his memory already. When he picked up his copy of the ‘Central Times’ in the morning, seeing those words was a reminder why he was sulking for days and was uncharacteristically quiet. If anyone from the team thought anything of his behavior, they didn’t say anything. They could chalk it up to the pressure of the Parliament Meeting in a couple of weeks, to vote on a bill that would have the country elect a President, henceforth.

Roy took in the remaining railroad station, always diligent to his surroundings. In his position, there was extremists, activists, and thugs everywhere attempting to assassinate or demand some retribution towards him. If it wasn’t for his work with Ishval, after the Promise Day, then it was his time spent during the war that wiped out half a civilization. His status of the ‘Hero of Ishval’ was always in question. The title itself he would gladly relinquish, but as foolish as that thought was, he knew that if he saw himself less of a hero, the people who served with him during the Ishval Civil War saw him as one. His ideals of the war may have been shattered, but those soldiers who were grateful to him for taking the lead was one of the reasons that he would continue to make it to the top. And with their hopes and dreams, his along with them, he vowed to move the country forward and hoped that it would never again bear the scars of a senseless war and power hungry men who thought themselves, gods.

Resembool train depot itself was rebuilt after the war, and although it did not resemble the splendor of Central, it was charming and quaint; just what you’d expect from a small country station. Resembool primarily occupies a significant amount of area, but the town was too rural for Roy’s tastes. He looked around; a magazine stand, a newspaper rack, a bulletin board with notices for sheep trading and what to expect during the Next Year Festival occupied the too small for comfort platform. Whoever was in charge of the overall maintenance of the area, had outdone themselves. They’d manage a few flowers bushes and plants and admittedly it was well-kept.

“You folks not from around here?” The man reading the newspaper was asking. “Been seeing lots of people come off the train, guess y'all are here for the big shindig tomorrow. Military, uh, guess that is expected. Do you folks have transportation?”

“Yes, we do, Mr...” Riza was addressing the man.

“Mr. Fenn, Ms, but folks around here call me Garrey,” he said, smiling politely.

Riza mentioned to Mr. Fenn, that they were expecting two cars to be here, but it seemed that they were late. He continued chatting with her, while they waited for to be picked up. Roy had secured the cars for their trip. Hardly anyone in Resembool owned a decent vehicle, but during the last year, the Military had commissioned two cars to be in the town for when officials visited. One car would have sufficed, but in addition to Riza, Falman was present as well as his wife, their two kids, and Kain Fuery. Breda and Havoc were taking a later train, along with Alex, Maria and Denny Brosh. It seemed like they were meeting for a reunion. Roy hasn't seen or spent that much time with anyone during his time in Ishval and after, except his subordinates, but they rarely socialize outside of work. Trading stories of what everyone was up to in the last two years would probably clear away some of the entanglements of his current frame of mind.

“...the highest quality wool?” Roy was catching the tail end of a question Vato’s girl; Maisie asked Mr. Fenn.

“That’ll be Merino Wool, child, comes from merino sheep. Only one family up in these parts raise that kind of sheep,” the man answered.

Maisie seems enthralled with the information and was asking her mom if they could visit the farm. Garrey had suggested to them that the family owned a petting zoo. Falman, of course, had studied assiduously on ‘Things to do in Resembool’ and had an itemized schedule already planned with things to do for the next three days. No doubt, the petting zoo outing was already listed.

By the time the two cars pulled into the station, the summer sun was making it’s lazy descent in the sky. It was 3:15 pm, the brunt of the heat already slipping into a cooler temperature. The drivers had apologized for being late. They had picked up some other Military personnel, and they did not compensate the time it took to drive to and from the destinations. Their lack of judgment had delayed them due to a horse-drawn carriage that was painstaking going too slow, on the one-way street that leads to the station. Roy accepted their apology and said that he understood. Small town and its charms. The bags were loaded into the cars, and they made their way towards the town.

It took them twenty minutes to reach the main street into the town. Unspoiled of corruption from the neighboring cities, the narrow streets are lined with small brick shops. A market displayed signs for farm fresh vegetables and fruits, stacked in crates are various colors of wool, a small bank, grocery store, two restaurants and the Inn where they would be calling home for the next three days. Resembool a community forgotten entirely, that had no infrastructure, no gods presiding in a citadel and no enthusiasm for architecture. The simplicity of the place comprised of buildings that fabricated a patchwork for that laid-back, quiet town character and stretching out as far a the eye can see was a vivid backdrop of the countryside.

Given another time, Roy would have enjoyed the view, but right now he longed to collapse in a bed and take a warm bath. He also wanted to gather his thoughts before they attend the dinner later in the evening. The weather continued its path of promising to be near-perfect, but it still could not dispel the shadows of Roy’s central contention of the mind and heart.

Roy had his doubts about the feelings that continually pressed on his consciousness. The obscurity of what he refute the truth of the matter was his cowardliness to take steps to confront his heart desire. He was afraid to admit, he was afraid to fall, to commit and that’s why Roy is still in the same predicament as he was when this all started. A losing battle of letting go, of taking the plunge to see where it may take him, but the fear of it all, never disappears.

 

~o~

 

Almost three hours later, Roy stared out of the car window at the countryside. In the distance low grassy hills ringed the valley, rolling away into the hazy bluish mountains. Golden bright rays play peek-a-boo through the vista of trees before dramatically dipping behind the crest of the hills, leaving behind a wash of colors on the horizon. The outlook was living, changing and Roy looked on keenly as the last of daylight melted away curtaining the end of sunrise-to-sunset. A star blinks it’s way into the black, night sky, alone, waiting, until the millions follow in pursuit shimmering like hanging diamonds and silhouetted among them, the moon, silvered and radiant.

The weather semblance was reflecting the opposite of what he was feeling. A numbness was manifesting, taking root in his body and was even more pronounced as the night waned, bringing them closer to a source of the chaos of his tormented soul. It was all a mockery, but perceiving the sun as it tried to linger onto the daylight, made Roy rationalize his thinking.

He could accept, and learn to live without, escape this memory and consign himself to moving forward. But he could also worked out with his heart to lay it all out there and hope the sincerity of his truth is enough. He wished that it was as simple as one, two, three, and perhaps just in the distance, his hopelessly darkened universe was already waiting for the light to filter in on his heart, mind and soul. It was a forlorn hope and he knew it, but finding some sort of desperate justification for what plagued his dreams these last years would suffice his heart’s content.

Therefore, he would smile tonight, converse and through it all he would not show that his heart is not stable, that it were just waiting to be pushed over and shattered completely. He would reminisce about the past, ask about the future and yes smile and keep smiling until one day it’s no longer required.

That was the least he could do.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Roy returned his gaze to people riding along with him; Riza had elected to drive, and Fuery was sitting shotgun tinkering with an old pocket watch. Roy suppressed a tiny smile.

Where Roy had leniently dismissed the tardiness earlier of both drivers, Riza thought that she would take back the reigns of driving for the remainder of their stay in Resembool. Riza was a conservative when it came to what is required of an Army professional. Her austerely orderliness and rational readiness was what other officers aspire. She was his adjutant and bodyguard. She had designated herself the role of protecting him ‘her words’ which he had learned was one of the reasons she had become his aide. Or perhaps it was the fact that it was her father’s work that had made him one of strongest and probably most powerful Alchemists in the Army. His ideas for Amestris’s future was probably the ruling factor and of course she didn’t want her father’s research used as a weapon again. Whatever the list of reasons for why Riza continued to remain at his side, he was appreciative of her far more than she realized.

He trusted her decisiveness and her candor when it came to keeping him on his path of honor and holding together virtues that were lack thereof in the Army. During the time of Father, he had displayed a side of himself, going as far as to protect her from harm, but he would, of course, offer the same assurance to all his subordinates if ever they were threatened with violence. With Riza, it always seemed like they were two that would probably be sitting across from each other sharing a cup of coffee, and many people had emphasized that perhaps she would be the country’s next first lady.

Their history together could probably factor in those beliefs. Roy had picked up a few times where that notion may have gone beyond the usual relationship of a superior and subordinate from Riza. But that knowledge would remain just that because as much as Riza is a Queen on his chess board, he could not foresee a future of idly holding hands together as they take in an afternoon stroll. She is after all the stronghold of his team, someone he trusted and friend above-all-else.

The Military frowned upon fraternizing, and the upper brass would have thwarted a relationship. They would never have crossed that line, being the consummate professionals they are, and Roy, he had goals set in motion, he may have lapsed a couple of times before risking both goals and life, but reasons at the time were outweighed by the danger that impeded all around them.

Besides, one crystallized truth remained; Roy’s heart was already held captive by another. Although said heart was big to accommodate the country, his subordinates, and anyone else he wanted to fit in it, he could not share the deepest part with anyone else in the capacity of love. That chunk, allotted, prime real estate of his humanity is hidden amidst a storm of memories, longing, experiences, pain and loss and before he released the keys to anyone other than the capturer, he was going to get through this weekend first and foremost.

 

  
~o~

 

  
They finally arrived at the house where they would be accompanying several other guests for a dinner party. The drive up the dusty road to the dwelling was long, leaving behind a thick, smoky swirl of dirt. Roy opened the car door. He stepped out of the solid car, leaving behind any last visages of the self-doubt.

There was a calmness in the air, a stagnant cloud of dust the car kicked up was pricking his eyes and drying out his mouth. The fragrance of the jasmine, lavender, and sun-kissed grasses was apparent, the smells invading his senses in a great warmth and peace. The sun bathed earth settled back to stillness, and Roy inhaled a deep gust of the sweet-smelling atmosphere, losing the noose around him, that was coiling and tightening his throat. He looked over to Riza and Fuery, and they were both happy greeting Falman and his family as they pulled up in the other car.

This was it. No, ‘I’ll deal with it tomorrow.’ He had to come face to face with what the invitation signified and hoped that he would leave here with his pride and heart intact.

Roy looked around at the property and dwelling, noting that there wasn't a single change to the overall appearance from the last time he was here, except a new sign at the front of the house ‘Auto Mail by The Rockbell's’.

“They are here,” a voice called out.

From the side of the house walked Alphonse Elric. Roy was slightly taken back by his appearance. He’d only seen him once maybe twice since he regained his body and the shock factor still resonated with him.Gone was the clanking of metal footsteps, replaced by a graceful stride, and he was tall, perhaps two inches taller than Roy himself. His eyes honey brown, warm and welcoming and his hair, strawberry blonde dipped in the sun as it sets, was short and slightly spiked. He was a sight to behold, and Roy could not help but plaster on a smile, a genuine one.

“We were wondering if perhaps you could not find the house,” Alphonse said, pleasantly smiling as he extended his hand for Roy to shake, “General, it is good to see you again.”

“I would say the pleasure is all mine, Alphonse. You are certainly an envision to be apprised of and please, don’t mind my gaping. I’m still processing the fact that you returned from the Gate of Truth in one piece and please, it’s Roy outside the office.”

“General, ahh thanks....I mean R...Roy,” he replied, cheeks taking on a faint blush, “Captain Falman, Lieutenant, and Sergeant. Brother will be thrilled that all of you made it, Havoc and the others are already here.” He gestured to the back of the house.

Alphonse asked animatedly about how their trip was and if this was Falman’s and Fuery’s first time in Resembool and other such things. He continued with a couple of questions until he brought them to the rear of the home. There was music emanating from the back and the hush tones of voices talking.

When they emerged, Roy felt like he’d stepped into a garden of some fancy aristocrat from Central.

“Do you all like what we’ve done to the place?” Alphonse was asking.

Cleary the look on their faces said that they were too stunned to respond.

“I designed it myself, along with help from Mei. You remember Mei, right sir?” The youngest Elric questioned.

The girl who Roy had a brief encounter with two years ago had walked up to them and was looping her arm into one of Alphonse’s while she exchanged her pleasantries. Girlfriend Roy assumed.

“Alphonse it’s simply breathtaking,” Riza replied, Falman and Fuery both agreeing with variations of the statement.

“Thank you. I’ll let brother know his guests have arrived. Feel free to explore, and there we are serving drinks, and light bites before the dinner start over there.” He gestured to the end of the garden where Roy saw a small bar and behind the bar was Dr. Pinako Rockbell.

“Sir, will you be alright? I see Rebecca, and I’d love to go and say hello.” Riza was asking.

“Lieutenant, we are not on the clock, and this is a party.” He said smiling. “Please go and enjoy yourself. I’m a grown man.”

Riza gave him a puzzled look. “Sir, please take your advice and try and relax tonight. I’m sure whatever it is that have been occupying your mind can’t be that bad that you can’t enjoy this special occasion and perhaps a drink would help lighten your mood.”

“Right,” he said.

Funny how a couple of choice words was all it took for him to recognize that he was not acting like himself and was bound to have Riza or anyone from the team ask him what was really going on.

“Sir, are you all right?” Riza murmured.

Roy nodded, “Yes, and thank you, Lieutenant. I’ll go and see if Pinako can whip me a special Resembool cocktail.”

“Of course, Sir, and please only a few drinks tonight.”

“Lieutenant, I’m your commanding officer and....” Riza scrutinized him sternly “Say no more. A few drinks are all or even less. Please, go, it seems like Rebecca is looking over here for your attention. I’ll catch up you with you later.”

Roy walked away and made a beeline for the bar. He really had to commend Alphonse. The garden was enchanting. They had constructed an elegant dining area which was enclosed by a wisteria arbor. Twinkling lights weaved in the magnificent and vigor tree. Flower beds and hedges added to the splendor of the space. Roy saw familiar faces, all filled with joy, nodding and extending beaming smiles. They all bear the mark of being in good spirits. They were here for a celebration for one of their own, someone who have touched their hearts and many countless others. The music added to the ambiance, emphasizing the tone for what the night was truly about. It was all very romantic, and Roy’s knew of another Elric who would have probably erected a gothic structure added a few gargoyles here and there and called it good-taste.

Before reaching the bar, Roy could hear the confident voice of Edward Elric. He was walking towards him, and it was suddenly difficult to concentrate on anything. It was like a moving train crashed into him, leaving him on tracks, death slowly taking over.

Roy just stared. He stared. How can others be unsuspecting of how his breath was pounding in his ears and his heart was beating to a tune of nerves whenever Edward was nearby. How he ogle at him? Edward is the most fascinating creature Roy knew. He was a golden god in his eyes. How can they be so credulous to Roy’s behavior? How can Edward not know what he did to him?

Of course, he knew why, his artful superiority mask was always in place, especially around Edward. The face beneath the mask, was one that no one saw, not since Hughes’s death, he did not dare show what lies underneath. Maybe he’s afraid to strip away the guise and bare it all, but he’s not quite prepared. He thought he was strong enough to pull down the barricades of that emotional veil, but that bravery vanished immediately upon seeing Edward.

Yes, the Edward, he was why Roy’s heart was fighting him. It was presumptuous to think that he had everything in control after stepping out from the car. He wrote the book on control, on manipulation. He was a master after all, but being the master at changing the outcome of events, did not make him the master of your his own consciousness. Apparently, Roy still had lots to learn when matters of the heart take charge.

So what if he didn’t want to cross that bridge of fear? He was safe where he was, stable and secure, rooted to real beliefs.

“Roy you’re kidding yourself. You don’t want to keep these feelings sheltered anymore, right. You don’t want to questioned yourself for years on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if you’d just let it all slip free’. You dreamt of taking that plunge in it, move with it, an ocean that was all Edward, so deep that it would take lifetimes just to get to the bottom.” A voice that suspiciously sounded like Hughes stated.

God, he was cool. It was what he admired about Edward. Roy was not cool. He was dashing, a classic debonair and devilishly handsome, but cool that was Edward. The fact is he didn’t know he possesses such a quality.

He’d always reminded Roy of a lion, independent, fierce, admired and feared at the same time for his brilliance and filled with a restless energy. He could stop any passerby in their tracks when he was performing alchemy or talking about it or simply gazing upon his beauty. Hair soaked in the sun, aureate and lustrous, bangs curving around his prominent jaw, brushing his neck, defying the rules of tradition. He kept it long and had abandoned the braid form to wearing pulled up in a tie. He had grown tall, not as tall as his brother, but now his height matched Roy’s. He always had an athletic build at an earlier age, but as a young adult, his entire body was shaped and sculpted, two strong arms and a face, flawless without comparison.

And his eyes were gold. Two glowing golden orbs. They were mesmerizing and captivating. They had a divine power that when Roy gazed upon them, he wanted to know more, to see what hid beneath them, to unlock the secrets that he never knew he wanted to open before.

Roy had been good. He'd been damn good. He kept a promise to himself that he would wait until Edward was old enough even to consider asking him out for a drink, but he never did quite get around to it. He played that fine line of masking his feelings for his young subordinate and done a pretty damn good job of it. He honestly didn't know how he managed to keep his hands off him some days. Of course, Edward didn't see himself as desirable, but Roy knew better and what he saw in Edward was a beautiful light in his darkened world.

Edward was a loose canon of sorts, self-absorbed, ego inflated, but under all that deluded display of resolute, Edward had a genuinely heartfelt soul and an unflinching compassion towards the people he cared for— He felt privileged to be even considered a part of the close knit of people that Edward regarded as friends.

This, however, wasn't always the case, because he was Edward's superior officer and their relationship during Edward's time in the Military had always bordered on professionalism, a pull and push friction of who of the two would be the victor in the taunts they displayed whenever they were together.

He'd given Edward a choice of joining the Military at the tender age of eleven. A chance of becoming a State Alchemist and he wasn't surprised to see that he'd taken it. He had seen the "fire in those eyes" the night he had visited Resembool and throughout the battle against the Homunculi and the events that took place on "The Promised Day." Their relationship had changed into something as an honor that tied them together. His assurance to see Edward with his own goal of retrieving his brother's body and eventually Edwards words for a promise to him to become a leading light in his endeavor of Fuhrership had only reinforced the bond that they'd somehow established.

An unspoken contract of ‘Ed would keep him safe, and in return, Roy would let him be a wild.'

He wanted Edward. He needed Edward. It wasn't about desire. It was strange. It wasn’t about taking Edward. He wanted to look at him and really know him. He wanted to wake up every morning with him. He wanted to give the remaining of his life to him. Share in all the dazzling experiences that was Edward. He needed him now. What he felt for Edward wasn't just a passing shadow. It was something that paralyzed his thoughts and trapped his heart in an unbounded array spreading its poison throughout his body. It took him a while to accept it, but when Roy did, there was no longer any denying.

He, Roy Mustang, was madly in love with Edward Elric. He was the one, the one he could love for eternity.

The universe knew it, and in another time or as another man, he would make Edward his eternity. It wouldn't be his secret to hold because of love; his love wanted an escape. It yearned to soar and close the distance, the in between and transform into honesty.

But Edward was already spoken for; he was getting married tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

“So you’re here, Colonel Bastard.” Ed greeted him with a smile that reached both corners of his jawline.

WOW! He was prepossessing and in that moment Roy forgot how to breath, where he was standing, what town he was in. Why was he even here? Dazzling, blinding and utterly magical, he was entranced, taken over by a spell. He was a marionette and Edward was the puppeteer not controlling, but pulling him closer and closer.

‘Just breath Roy, in and out and remember, stay strong, fake a smile or put on your infamous smirk.’ Roy hissed at himself, feeling stupid for needing to, ‘The one that everyone proclaimed made women weakened and men hateful.’

“Fullmetal, as always I see eloquence is something that still manage to elude you, and yes I’m here.” Roy said.

His breathing almost under control, but his heart was aching and Roy felt weary from having put such strain on it so abruptly. He can’t continue putting his body through these motions day after day. He really needs to move on from these feelings.

“And I see that you're still as arrogant and smug as your were when I was in your command and was that a short quip? You do realize I’m as tall as you are now and I’m no longer Fullmetal. It just Edward.” He said smiling and met Roy’s gaze levelly.

 _“Risked it all Roy, he’s so worth it, freaking jump in the irresistible ocean of Edward Elric and don’t you dare come up and take a breath not until he’s coming up with you. If that smile doesn't tell you he’s the danger that you want, that you want to face head on and let it consume you, then this love that reverberate throughout your body is all for naught.”_ That very Hughes-like voice insists.

Roy really wants him to shut up.

“That’s General to you, Fullmetal, and I don’t think you can ever be just Edward. And I have noticed that you’re no longer a bean sprout.” Roy said with a sinful rasp in voice.

Edward smirked, “Watch it bastard, people might think you care and you’re damn right, I’m no bean spout. I’m awesome.”

“What, are you saying I’m not allowed to care for your well being? And, Edward you do look great.” Roy murmured.

“Wait, what the fuck are we talking about?” Edward asked.

"Edward, language.” Winry interjected.

“Oh, sorry Win.” Edward apologized.

Wait a second, when had Ms. Rockbell appeared? Was she walking along with Edward the whole time?

 _“Roy, you are blind to everything around you when Edward is close by and you know it.”_ That Hughes-like voice stated, smugly.

Roy really wanted to punch him right now. Even if it was just a voice in his head, he wanted to punch him,

“Mr. Mustang, it’s a nice to see you again.” Ms. Rockbell said.

“Ms. Rockbell, the pleasure is all mine.” Roy responded. “The place look amazing and congratulations on the engagement. Sorry I did not express them earlier, when I first learnt that Edward proposed; I’d been fairly busy at the time.”

“Thank you, Sir.” She said, with a tilt of the head and a smile.

“So, General are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing to become Sovereign Ruler of the country?” Edward asked sweetly.

“Don’t you have guests to entertain?” Roy asked, directing the question more so to Ms. Rockbell.

“Mr. Mustang, he’s been waiting all day to talk to you, I’m sure it’s all alchemy related and I think I could release him in your care for a few minutes. I need to start getting dinner ready anyway.”

Did she know what she was asking of him? Leaving Edward in his care. Roy would never leave Edward in anyone’s care, but himself. Can he get her to write that declaration in pen, on paper and then walked straight to the gates of hell?

“Do you need any help?” He asked politely.

“Oh, no, Izumi and Sig are helping with the preparations.” She said before kissing Edward on the cheek and walking away.

Edward was blushing and Roy was burning in the everlasting fires of purgatory.  
Ms. Rockbell was the luckiest person on the face of the planet and Roy he was in the nether world, tormented and suffering. Thank you universe, for reminding Mustang of the fact that he’s already taken. ‘How am I feeling?’, you asked ‘I’m fine’.

“Come on, bastard, I’ll by you a drink.” Ed tugged on the cuff of his black duster guiding him towards the open bar.

“I thought they were free.” Roy replied.

He felt his mood brighten and a sudden warmth wash over him from where Ed’s hand brushed his wrist.

“They are, but that does’t mean I can’t buy it for you. Well technically I did purchase all the beverages being served tonight. So that concludes that, I’m buying you a drink and then you’re going to tell me everything that you’ve been up these past two years.” Edward said, smiling smugly.

“How gentleman-like of you to offer. I accept.” Roy blushed. He never blushes. What was Edward doing to him? “I can do that, but you also have to share some stories of your time spent in the West.”

“Didn’t you get the letters I sent?” Edward asked.

“Wait, you mean those pieces of paper that were crammed in a envelope that consisted of illegible scant words.” Roy remarked.

“Bastard, you’re one to talk, you haven't sent one letter to me while you were in the East and even after you returned to Central.” Edward chastised.

“I had my reasons, besides I was quite busy with all the politics of getting Ishval restored.” Roy responded grinding his teeth together.

Feeling the weight of the reasons why he never wrote Edward press down on him deflating his ego.

“I hope you can share those reasons with me sometime. And when have you ever worked, you lazy bum?” Edward said, the corner of his mouth curving into a mocking smile.

Roy tapped his heart with his hand, stating flippantly “Wounded, by your words of clarity, Edward Elric.”

“Shut up idiot, and tell Pinako your poison. And start talking about everything.” He demanded.

“Edward, haven't you read the paper or listen the radio broadcasts?” Roy asked before addressing Pinako. “Dr. Pinako, good evening, I’ll have a beer, thank you and pleased to see you again.”

“General, Mustang,” she nodded. “Don’t be filling his head with Military non sense. He’s already a bag of restless jumping beans these past few days.”

“Shut up, old bat.” Ed said to Pinako. “I have been reading the paper and listening to the radio, but knowing you their’s all this black ops type secrecy stuff that didn't make the headlines. And, Mustang is that all you’re having, a beer. I thought you like fancy shit like that.” He pointed to a bottle of an Armstrong 1855 Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.

“Edward, where did you confiscate such an elite bottle of Whiskey and when did you become an expert on knowing me?” Roy asked.

“It’s been almost eight years, don’t you think by now I’ll see through that false bravado. Alex gave me that bottle of vile crap of as a congratulatory gift after we retrieved Al’s body from the gate, along with a flashy speech about Armstrong’s Whiskey. He said it’s been aging for years and this acclaimed, rare and fine bottle was coveted by all nations, and all the mumbo, jumbo crap he spews about his family. That’s besides the point, anyway I know how fucking much you love gaudy and lavish items, so I thought about you and how much you’d appreciate the taste of the ‘floral, fruity and sweet taste’ spirit, not my words. I wasn’t going to drink the shit, so I figured this was the perfect occasion to bring it out. Plus, I wanted something other than beer to offer your up----What the fuck are you smiling about, bastard?”

“Edward, just when I’ve barely scratched the surface of what makes you so god damn extraordinary and beautiful, you say something like that and manage to surprise me beyond my wildest dreams.”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to figure out Colonel. I’m just me.” He whispered, a gentle red flush spreading across his cheeks, while he fidgeted with his hands.

“Edward, you are no just you. You anything but...,” Roy said before Edward interrupted him.

“Are you going to continue talking crazy shit or start talking about stuff that really matters and I want to know how been using your alchemy since you don’t need a transmutation circle anymore. I want to know everything. Don’t skimp on the details.” He said briskly, regaining some of his bounce he had before Roy said he was ‘beautiful’.

“Very well, Edward.” Roy said shaking his head at the blonde readiness to talk and his naivety to what Roy felt when he was in his presence or the fact that currently Roy’s heart was in a tranquil state of contentment for the first time in days.

Pinako handed him a glass of the Whiskey and she offered Edward a Creatian Ale. Both took their drinks as Edward steered them over to a couple of garden chairs, close to the other guests but a fair distance to give them some privacy. Roy had to admit the drink was smooth and clean and, like Edward mentioned about the taste, it hit all those notes. Roy was careful to sipped the rare and indeed fine scotch neatly. Pinako had even supplied him with a glass of water. She was a true connoisseur it appeared of some of the finer things in life. Roy suppressed a chuckle at that thought.

Edward stories accurately portrayed the elderly woman acutely so well; she always had a long, wooden smoking pipe daintily hanging from her mouth and apparently she was not too fond of being called short and always seemed to battle it out with Edward on who was precisely the smallest. Now, it seems Edward triumph in that uphill battle with his new found height, allowing him to tower over the lively woman.

Roy pulled out one of the chairs for Edward before he too took another one for himself. The moment he sat down he felt a radiating heat from Edward as he pulled his chair inches closer to Roy’s own seat. Edward’s knee was casually pressing against Roy’s leg. He shifted slightly his chair, subtly, letting his leg relaxed to the innocent touch. He suddenly felt like he needed to take a dip in a bathtub filled with ice. The close proximity made Roy feel as he was sitting next to a fire that were burning so hot, if he reach out an inch, the flames will either scorch his hand or envelope him in a fervor of rapid rising heat that was brimming with an irresistible warmth.

The world stopped again, and he stopped. He stared transfixed at Edward. It’s quite impossible to think he’s just an ordinary human, because Roy honestly believe he’s a majestic being, so beautiful and wonderfully made.

“Earth to Mustang, are you going to start talking anytime soon, or continue to stare at me?”

“Of course I will.” He answered. “It’s just a touch warm, don’t you think? And I’m not staring.”

“If you weren’t staring, then you were somewhere else entirely and it’s not warm. It must be you.” Edward said adamantly creasing his brow to show his confusion and the absurdity of Roy’s question.

“It must,” Roy said, while he shuck off his coat and draped it over the back of chair, feeling a bit put out from the loss of contact from where Ed’s knee was touching his leg.

Goodness gracious, he can’t believe he was caught staring. Surely Edward would think something is amiss. He stared a lot at Edward, but always done it discreetly. That was a lapse that he hope he did not repeat again tonight. He took a deep breath and began to talk.

So Roy talked. He talked about the two years he spent in the desert of Ishval. How it was difficult at first because he had to come face to face with what he’d done during the uprising. It wasn’t easy trying to rebuild a small nation from the ground up, knowing that he was one of people who was responsible for it’s fall. He still couldn't believe that he’d manage it and came out in one piece, but the people of Ishval was gratified and their thanks was exceedingly humane without scrutiny.

The conversation echoed the sleepless nights he had to endure after the Promise Day, while he was in the East and they continued even when he returned to Central. Dreams centered around the gate, facing Truth, the lose of his sight, burning people and the death of Hughes. It was nightmares, one after the other.

He told him about when Dr. Knox and Dr. Marcoh visited him in the hospital. How he’d already set his mind out to correct the wrongs done to Ishval during the “War of Extermination”. He was going to call off the Military occupation and return the the power of ruling back to The Ishvalan people. He told Ed, of the years spent after war, researching and studying their laws, traditions, and ways of life and that he would devote his life, until death was knocking at his door to return their holy land. Loosing his sight may not have been apart of getting there, but to him it was a small price to pay and it would not have hindered his plan of moving forward and becoming Fuhrer one day.

Then Dr. Marcoh offered to use the Philosophers Stone to restore his sight. He laughed it off at first, the thought seemingly just that, a thought that he was being offered a new lease on life, when so many others had lost theirs from the events that led up to the Promise Day. He told Edward that the first thought he had was wondering what he’d think and about him using the stone. He recalled his words at the time ‘I know some people who might not like this especially Fullmetal’, but he had to push that thought aside because of the promise he made ‘envisioning a better future’. A future of promise, build on trust and faith in the people upholding those values and of the people around to secure that wisdom for generations following, to enjoy. Therefore, his choice to the accept the gift wasn’t without fault, but everything that he’d accomplished in the two years could not have been done if he was a blind man. He may have had the heart and soul to make the amends, but he was so grateful that he could see them come to fruition with his own two eyes.

Edward didn’t interrupt. He just listened and for once Roy just wanted to bare his soul, heart and let it all out. He may have been ripped and tattered, at times battered from the pain, but something deep within his core, kept on stirring and motivating him to keep afloat, to disregard the suffering. It may not be the awakening he wanted, but whatever it is, it keep him grounded. The shield he firmly had in placed stood guard against the people close to him. If there ever was another person, other than Hughes to share his true motives, his center, his true heart, the basic understanding of what composed Roy, it would be Edward Elric.

He offered a few comments here and there, but mostly he expressed his understanding of everything that Roy had experience, the doubts and even the nightmares. He disregarded Roy’s worry when he told him about using alchemy in a new perspective, and whenever he clapped, he would feel guilty knowing that Edward no longer was capable of doing something that was second nature to him. Something so ingrained in his make up, that when he performed a simple alchemic transmutation it was something to behold. Edward didn’t want him to apologize for alchemy, but instead wanted to discuss further the knowledge, what it felt like to draw power from the earth and the new sensations that went along with it.

He could have probably sit here for an eternity, trapped in this time where it was just Edward and him talking. The only elements remaining to reveal to Edward was what his heart desired and that was the only facet that separated the already thin veil from the exposing the truth, his truth. Roy did not stop talking until he felt a gentle touch of a hand caressed the top of his and whispered words.

“I can’t believe you’ve been holding all that in.” Edward said.

“I guess, I was waiting for the right audience.” Roy said before taking a sip of the forgotten glass of whiskey, noticing that Edward hand was still resting on top of his. “And I’m afraid that I’ve taken most of your precious time from your fiancee.”

“Nonsense, idiot. Don’t worry about it she understands that I don’t like being the center of attention.” He answered before removing his hand when Roy glanced down at the intimate gesture.

“But, it’s your celebration, Edward.” He said, stretching out his feet before standing up graciously and extending his hand for Edward to take.

“Yeah, it is, but....” Edward took the offered appendage a bit clumsily and stumble into Roy arms.

“But, what?” Roy asked, steading Edward upright.

“But, nothing, Mustang.” He answered with a shrug, brushing away some imaginary lint on his vest. “Well I was thinking about Resembool and everything that I’ve done and been through to make it to this point in my life.”

“Edward, it seems like you’re happy here or am I wrong to assume such things?” Roy asked, surprised.

“Well, I have something to smile about now. I got my brother’s body back from the gate. No homunculi. No father. I got my arm back, no leg.” He said tapping the Automail, still grinning, “I’m getting married tomorrow, that part is still hard to believe. I don’t have my alchemy anymore, but it was all worth it. So, Yes, I’m happy Colonel. Why are asking me all this stuff and the compliments from earlier? Not that I mind the questions, but you’ve never complimented me before.”

“It’s nothing,” Roy said and cracked a smile, despite himself.

“It is something. Tell me.” Edward demanded. His eyes narrowed and penetrating Roy’s own.

Roy swallowed, “It’s just that I wanted to....”

“Edward, dinner will be served soon, we should try and get everyone seated. I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” Ms. Rockbell said before looking at both Edward and Roy. “I was weren’t I? I’m sorry. Was it about secret Military stuff? Edward never tells me anything than I already know or was it about Alchemy? Mr. Mustang, did he tell you about the times he tried to clap his hands thinking he still had his alchemy?”

Edward interrupted, “Winry, give me a second.”

Ms. Rockbell stated, “Sure. A minute Ed or else.”

“Ok, Winry.” He said before turning his attention back to Roy. “Mustang, are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?”

Roy furrowed his brows. “It’s nothing, Edward.” ‘ _Missed opportunities and not taking the plunge..’_

“Again with talking in circles. Does it have anything to do with those reasons you never wrote or call and why you’re acting stranger than you normally do?” Ed asked, adamantly.

For a moment Roy remained silent.

 _“You could do it now, you know? Just tell and then get it over with.”_ Hughes voice stated.

Then he shook his head and said, “Possibly.”

“Shit, Mustang you are scaring me. Are you dying?” Edward was touching his forehead like he was checking if he had a temperature.

Roy shook his head.

“Have anyone threatened you, because I’ll fucking kill them.” Edward snapped.

“You’re not killing anyone, Edward and please can we stop talking about this now?” Roy warned.

“You know I can’t, not when you made it apparent that something is bothering you. You’re my friend right, Roy and friends they tell each other stuff. I can’t see why you can’t tell me what’s bothering you.” He said, letting his hand drop from Roy’s forehead and run it down his own face.

“Edward, for now lets pretend that my reason for not keeping you up to date on my life is of little consequence and I just told you practically everything that I’ve been up to and I didn’t spare the details that you aptly demanded me not to do.” Roy snapped.

“Of, little consequence, you idiot. Your life is a fucking big deal to me and don’t you tell me otherwise. This is not over Mustang, I’m going to uncover you’re little secret sooner than later.” Edward said, fire lit in those eyes.

“I wish you wouldn’t Edward.” Roy murmured.

“Ok, but this is not over. I don’t want to keep Winry waiting or she’ll get the idea of taking a wrench to my head. You have to see the spread that Izumi and Sig whip up. I’m not even sure they raised pigs that big. Come along, Colonel and put a smile on that smug face.” Edward’s determination showed in his new smile, “It’s a party with lots of food.”

Roy could wait for Edward forever and never loose his patience or harm a single hair on that magnificent body.

 _“Just think you almost told him, you were so close Roy and he said you’re his friend. You always presumed that he was your friend, but hearing him say the words out-loud, that’s something he’d never done before.”_ Hughes stated, sounding a mix between annoyed and disappointed.

‘You can never be just friends with someone you fell in love with, who you're in love with’. Roy stated, ‘Don’t you Hughes?’

_“Remember Roy, just smile. That’s all you have to do tonight. Smile through it all. He’s happy, he told you himself. Can’t you be happy for him? Your heart is breaking, but don’t you let it break in-front of him. You can’t ever show him the fear of him not knowing that you love him beyond any words can ever express. He so worthy of everything that life has to offer, and he’s been through so much. He deserves happiness. Bounties full of stuff, filled with laughter and a peace of mind. He’s your sun Roy, but he’s also that burning light for so many others. Just let go Roy, let go.”_

'I can’t.' Roy thought back.

 

~o~

 

 _‘I love you, Edward Elric’_ Roy thought as he watched Edward walked over to Ms. Rockbell. ‘If only you knew how much I do, that I would do anything to be with you. If only knew how much sitting with you for a few moments mattered to me. I hate this. Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Why do you have this power over me? I need to stop thinking about you. But, I don’t want to stop thinking about you. I don’t want to erase you from my mind.’

“Are you coming?” He called back, over his shoulder.

Roy met Edward eyes for an instant.

“Er--I’m going to go and check in with Hawkeye and the others.” He said.

Edward nodded to him, and turned to Ms. Rockbell extending his hand to her. Roy watched as she smiled shyly and place her hand in Ed’s, whispering something in his ear. Whatever she said to him, he must have liked because, then he was grinning ear-to ear. He watched the two strolled off towards their guests and she whispered something again and he laughed. It was a sound playful and sparkling with sunlight.

Hell almost seemed too comfy now, he thought.

‘He loves her, Roy and he’s happy. You need to let it go.’ Roy told himself, ‘He’ll probably do a lot better without you anyway.’

He was burning, but the flames could not settle in, could not even reach the the insides of him, that was in the most basic terms hurting. Right there, right now he wanted to set the world ablaze and watch it burn.

 _“Roy I know it hurts, and difficult to watch from afar, but you can’t set the world on fire. Let go Roy, let go of your love. Set your heart free.”_ That Hughes-like voice of reason insisted.

‘Set my heart free? All thoughts confined of Edward clear? I just can’t let go of this love, because as much as I wish I did’t love him, I don’t want it to leave me.’ Roy thought back.

 _“Roy, there is still love in letting go and it won’t leave you because what you feel for Edward will be reside in you forever. It’s untouched and pure. But holding on to the thought of being with Edward is breaking your soul.”_ Hughes reminded him.

And of course, he was right.

He’s a corpse without a soul, thrown again into the flames. He was burning. The fire that normally feeds him life, was slowly taking it away.


	4. Chapter 4

Roy took advantage of everyone's attention directed towards the bride and groom and slipped away. He wanted a moment by himself, where he could assuage his conscience to think clearly and give some thought to finally letting Edward go or telling him the truth, and hope by some miracle Edward doesn't punch him in the face or ask him to leave. He hoped that whatever he said to Edward would be enough probable cause to dissuade the notion of having him run for the hills or straight back to Central.

He didn’t think it was impolite just to slip away unnoticed, considering the guests had already eaten dinner and was just mingling. Mrs. Curtis sure did pull off an exceptional feast for the couple. Two roasted whole pigs, roast beef with a wild mushroom sauce, Peking duck with a reduction of plum sauce and several cuts of steaks grilled to perfection. The sides were appetizing, as well as the eclectic selection of dishes from Xing, Creta, and Ishval.

Roy engaged in conversation with the party guests he knew and the ones he never met before. The Elric’s had surely touched the lives of countless souls, and it seemed like all the people who crossed paths with both brothers were in attendance. They were deeply loved and respected by the ones here celebrating tonight and for many who they have never met in person. Even Xing’s Emperor was in attendance, along with several Ishvalans, Sheska, General Olivier Armstrong and Dr. Knox, to name a few.

Gracia and Elicia had made the trip out, and Roy had spent a considerable amount of time catching up with two ladies. Elicia was now six-years-old and just started her second year of school. She was going to be a flower girl in the wedding and articulated with pride the duties in which she was responsible. She was most excited for throwing the flowers, and for some odd reason candies. Gracia had taken command of making the wedding cake, which apparently was top secret. Being familiar with Gracia’s cooking and her expert knowledge of baking, Roy had no doubt the results would be fit for a king or a Former State Alchemist who could rival any ruler by the greatness he expelled.

‘Funny’ Roy thought. When had he begun to see Edward as being larger than life itself, a man not following the same rules governed by ordinary men? Had he deluded himself with the respect he held for Edward? With all the conspiring truths of his heart, was he so confused and that he unconsciously put him on a pedestal? Did he create a perfect image of Edward in his mind?

Roy declared to himself, that is wasn't the truth, he wasn't confused or deluded. He was never so sane when he thought about Edward. Sure, in the past he could have called it insanity for the fact that the blonde always knew how to rile Roy up or say the right words to get a response from him. Arguing with his young subordinate could be heard from miles away, and people tended to stay clear of them when they did not see eye-to-eye. Edward blatant disregard for following rules or people issuing those rules could be factored right at the top of those reasons, but Roy consciously knew why he felt the need to think Edward was anything but a golden beacon for the world, ‘his world.' It could be that he single handily took on Father and won, how he was the youngest ever State Alchemist, he's also a prodigy, or that he did the impossible, he beat the Truth and brought back his brother. Roy could very well record his reasons at a great length, but the truth (it's always the truth) is that his love for Edward outweighed any intellect on the matter on which he just questioned himself.

His love for Edward had come on strong; it was a like a storm rolling in one afternoon, filled with a fervent passion, desires and uncharted emotions. He was not prepared for when the clouds opened and poured down tumultuous amounts of that extreme ecstasy. Sure, before he would have said, that he was merely infatuated with Edward’s beauty, his brilliance, the way he could block out the world around him when he was reading or the way he blindly jumps into a situation before thinking of a predicted outcome.

To say that his love was an accident, some premeditated attachment, would be blasphemous because he only saw Edward in love, no other way but in a pure, honest and undiluted love.

“Hey, bastard, where are you going?”

Roy stopped. His voice left him. He was sure that everyone’s attention was fixated on the couple. The party had already taken on a rowdy atmosphere, everyone soaked with alcohol, good food, and thrumming music. Armstrong had already shed his upper clothing and Havoc, and Breda was cheering on Fuery as they attempted to get him to consume a rather large pint of beer. Even Olivier had dropped some of her authoritative masks and was letting her hair down; figuratively. Dr. Knox was in a heated debate with Marcoh, and his abrasive tendencies were probably locked away because Roy saw the man smiling, and that was a first. Everyone was too caught up in the fever of the party that he thought he could sneak away, but he should have known that Edward or even Riza would have missed his presence. Edward was always acutely aware of his surroundings and never missed in any details pertinent to whatever he was unraveling. He would have made a fine intelligence asset on the Investigative Department of the Military.

Roy turned to face Edward. Him, Edward, he was a magnet, and Roy felt the pull of the magnetic field surrounding him. Roy tried to center himself to what little gravity was holding him in place. He wanted so much to pull the blonde into his arms, reach out and touch, just one time, but he knew that it wouldn’t be enough. Roy was damned again because he wanted him. He wanted Edward. Could Roy fall insanely in love every time he looked at Edward? Yes, he could, he did. This was something that he was acutely aware of, and yet when it happened each time, it brought about new feelings that were overwhelmingly beautiful.

He was looking at Roy and his eyes—they were knowing, and this was madness. He should escape now. He couldn’t do this. He had to do this. He was going to do this. Even if every rational part of his mind was screaming ‘run now, Roy, you could still salvage your dignity, if you don’t say anything. Look at the bright side; he’s your friend, and if you dare do this now, it could change the dynamics of the relationship you both have establish. Do you want that? Do you want him to despise you?’ Roy shuddered at that rationalization.

He didn’t want Edward to be repulsed by him, not now or ever, but what he desperately wanted is to be over this. He took one tiny step, one slightly step forward.

“I was going to get some fresh—,” Roy caught himself saying before he realized that all the fresh air he needed was surrounding him. “I was going to take a walk and stretch my legs. I must say that I’ve never eaten that much food in one seating.”

“It was really something, right!” Edward said, smiling, as he closes the distance between him and Roy. “I’m actually full.”

“You, full? Now that is something you don’t hear every day,” Roy said slowly, his eyes now directly looking into Edward’s.

He smiled. Edward was smiling at him. How can the kindest acts recognized by man, filled him up? He was overflowing, bursting at the seams. His heart felt that smile. It was something that it wanted that he wanted—needed. Only Edward could give him this feeling.

He loves him.

“And for some odd reason, he knows that Roy cares for him, too.” A different voice nagged in his mind.

“There’s no reason why you shouldn't tell him. No,‘why or when? I’ll wait until tomorrow,’ or ‘I’ll hold on to this forever.’ You just know that you have to do this because love, your love does not have an expiration date, it’s not something that you can patent.” Hughes stated.

Roy agreed; It’s an insatiable, incredible sensation. It’s exhilarating, a free spirit waiting to be tamed by another.

“What are you thinking about?” Edward asked, his eyes daring, challenging as he looked at Roy.

“I need to speak with you privately?” Roy answered, “Would you mind taking a walk with me?”

“Are you going to tell me your secret?” Edward leaned in and whispered.

“Something, like that,” Roy murmured.

“Okay, but first we need to help clean up. Winry is going to retire for the night. Something about the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding and beauty sleep. I’m going to say goodnight to her, so take you lazy ass over there and help.” The blonde ordered.

Roy nodded and went to assist with the clean up.

The clean up was an easy enough task that amounted to everyone lending a hand. Most of the guests had left, and some were lingering, toasted beyond recognition. Roy had asked Riza to give him few minutes to say his goodbyes to Edward. If she thought something about the request, she opted not to speak anything but suggested that he could drive back to town by himself because Rebecca had asked if she’d accompany her and Havoc back. Fuery had already left with Breda so that just left Roy. He coolly told Riza that he’d be sure to arrive back at the Inn in one piece and not to wait up. He didn’t want her losing any sleep, worrying about him, because in all honestly, he really didn’t know how long it would take to talk to Edward.

 

~o~

 

“Hey! Are you ready?” Edward asked.

“Yes, I am.” Roy smiled nervously; his intentions for what he was about to tell Edward were bleeding through his reply.

“Good,” he grinned.

It was a cool night, the last days of summer heat fading into memory as the refreshing air of autumn ushers in—The night sky is an inky canopy, the darkness freckled by the constellations of stars and the moon full and bright. The air calmly still and the only sounds heard, include an owl screeching in the background, the chirps of birds in the distant trees and the rustling of bushes as they walked past them.

They walked along in silence, their eyes met a few times in the darkness, daring each other to say something. It was Roy after-all who asked Edward to join him, but he wanted to enjoy the moment, even it meant more to him than it did for Edward. Crickets chirped all around them as each step they took is a part of their symphonic masterpiece. It was harmonious, and Roy smiled.

Edward caught the action and looked into his eyes and the way he was looking at Roy—

It took his breath away.

“You can’t marry Ms. Rockbell,” he blurted out.

Edward's eyes widened. “What do you mean, bastard?”

“You can’t marry her, Ed,” Roy replied. “Trust me on this. I thought I was okay with you getting married, but I’m not.”

Edward watched him curiously. “Don’t bullshit me and answer the question. And you don’t have to be okay with me getting married. This is not your fucking choice. Fuck, what do you mean that you’re not okay with me getting married?”

“Edward, you can’t marry her,” Roy stated. “It’s a disaster waiting to happen. You don’t— I will not— I—”

“Why are you telling me this?” Edward glared at him.

He looked at Roy like he didn’t recognize him like he was seeing him for the first time, but much more important questions came to mind: like why was he taking this so well? He should have already been nursing a black eye, or something equally worse.

‘Because you mine and no can have you, unless it’s me.' The possessive part of his mind screeched.

“Why don’t you just tell him? He’s waiting for an answer, Roy. Does he know how much he means to you? And you’re just manipulating him again? Do you think he will just leave her at the altar? You know him, he stands by a moral code to protect and always seeing the best in people. He made freaking promises with you. Just tell him and get it over with.” The inner, unrelenting, voice of Hughes scolded him.

“Because—shit, Edward. I know you’ve been friends with her since childhood, and she’s your mechanic, your family, and I’m trying to understand the proposal. It seems sudden. It’s just like you to jump in and not think things straight.”

“Why do you care bastard?” Edward snapped, his voice hollow and low.

“Why do I care? Ed, you’re a wild spirit not bounded to stay in one place—” ‘Unless you are bound to me’ “—you need freedom and do you think she’ll understand everything that you've been through? Will you be really happy here in Resembool, like you said? I want you to be happy Ed. I’m sure she’ll make an excellent wife, but...”

“Spit it out, Roy,” he hissed, and Roy saw him clenched his fists.

“It’s now or never Roy.” The Hughes-like voice protested.

He loved him. He wanted him so badly. What is air? Edward was air, and he was food and water. Roy knew he could survive on just Edward.

“I love you, Brat. I love you. Satisfied.” Roy let out the breath he was holding onto forever.

Edward staggered back slightly as if the words punched him in the gut. He tensed, and his face went pale. His eyes narrowed, and he stared at Roy. Roy was waiting for a dramatic reaction, but nothing. Silence. They glared at each other for seconds, maybe a few minutes until in a hushed voice, barely above a whisper—

“You love me?” Ed breathed.

“I do. I think about you every day and every night. You’re beautiful, Edward. So beautiful! No matter how hard I try to convince myself, no matter what I say. In my heart, you’re always there. You’ve carved your way in inside, found yourself a little corner, a freaking big, gigantic corner and you never left. I’m crazy, madly, deeply and truly in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for some time.” Roy said feeling the manacles around his heart break free, relieved and gleefully smiling.

“You love me?! You bastard!” Edward snapped. “I can’t believe that you’re in love with me. How can you tell me you love me? Is this the secret? Is this what you’ve been holding back? What do you want from me? I’m getting married Mustang. Fucking married in a couple of hours. You wait until now to tell me this?! What do you want me to do with that confession? Exactly how long and please don’t say before I was barely legal.”

“It didn’t happen overnight. It gradually snuck up on me over time and don’t give me that look. I assure you, I’m not some perverted old man. Edward, I just didn’t fall in love with you. You swept into my life like a fucking whirlwind. Sure that was all possible that fated year when I give you a choice to join the military, but I walked in love with you completely and wide-eyed. You are brilliant, insufferable, pig-headed, humble, the way you touched people, the way you want to save the world from itself and everyone it. If this my destiny to be fated to you, then I happily surrender right now because— Edward Elric, I love you.” Roy took a breath, “I love you.”

Edward took a deep breath. “If you had told me after The Promised Day, then...I..I would…”

“What, Edward? You would have what?” Roy questioned, nervously.

“You can’t fucking say something like that just before someone’s about to get hitched, you idiot,” Edward replied quickly.

“Do you love her?” Roy asked.

“I do. You know I do. I’ve known her forever, and I do love her,” he cried.

“Are you in love with her?” Roy asked, smiling faintly.

“I love her; I have since... I just love her. Okay!” Ed snapped.

Roy nodded, “Fair enough Edward, but I ask one thing of you, and if you say no I’ll walk away now.”

“I’m not sure if there’s anything left for you to say Mustang.” The blonde sighed.

“Edward, I love you and—just this once—please allow me to kiss you,” Roy asked.

This moment here, Roy was going to stop thinking and let his heart guide him. He was going to reach for his own happiness, even for just a little while.

 

~o~

 

Somehow, Roy had stepped closer, and he wasn’t moving. Edward’s heart was hammering inside his chest. What the fuck? He was breathless. Why? He almost closed his eyes, expecting something to happen, when Roy look at his lips asking him to kiss him. He was close, and Ed could smell his masculinity, spice, sandalwood and an intoxicating musky smoke scent. He could feel the warmth of his skin, the pulsing of his heart.

“I want to kiss right now, Edward. I can’t stop thinking about it. What your lips would feel like, when I run my tongue across them. Please grant me one kiss, Edward? Just one kiss.” Roy asked, warm eyes regarding him.

Edward's eyes widened again that night. “Roy, I can’t-I don’t- I can’t- I want—”

Roy step forward again, closing the distance between them. Edward couldn't move; he couldn’t turn away. His lips parted. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why was he reacting? He could hear the small intake of his breath, and he wanted to say, ‘Yes.' His mind completely acting on its own will and the fuck, his body also humming. The fucking Colonel, bastard.

“Mustang,” he pleaded, lowering his gaze.

“Look at me. Look at me, Edward. I love you.” Roy said, his words igniting a fire in Ed’s body.

So fucking traitorous!

Edward turned away from him and was about to step away, but Roy pulled him even closer and his lips found Ed’s. He wasn’t gentle. He was kissing like a man starved, and Edward was the first meal he happened upon— It was fierce, desperate, and a drug of passion and desire and—Edward should pull away—but he wanted this. He really wanted Mustang to kiss him. Not only was his body a fucking traitor; now his mind was conspiring against him.

“He loves you, Edward. Roy fucking Mustang loves you, and he’s making you feel like a king.” A voice whispered in his mind; he couldn't bother placing it now, though.

A shudder passed through Edwards body, warming it from the inside out and he felt his heart racing against his chest trying to match his ragged breathing. Every sound, movement, smell around him exploded; Edward's knees buckled, his brain lit on fire and spread it’s molten liquid through his body. Inside him was a blazing inferno. If he wanted to escape from the kiss, he couldn’t because it was slowly drawing him under— To where he didn’t want know. All he could comprehend was that this spellbinding kiss, wouldn't let go, not until it was filled with satisfied pleasure. Who the hell—what the fuck—kind of kiss was this?

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, outside under the stars, moon fucking bright that it lit up everything. Kissing him felt familiar. Fuck, again Ed, where did that thought come from? It was perfect. Edward stole a glance at Mustang, and he saw happiness and love expelling from dark ocean blue eyes, glittering in the light of the moon. They were captivating, bewitching and Edward felt like he was under a yet another spell swimming in the abyss of Roy Mustang’s eyes. They were twinkling and at that moment Edward’s body is fucking singing. His heart pounded harder as his body greedily betrays him. Seriously, his body needed reprimanding. How dare it? Ed pressed into Roy, and when he shifted slightly, rubbing against his body, he groaned. Ed felt the reaction through his pants.

“Kiss me!” Roy murmured peppering kisses along Ed’s jaw, his cheeks, eyes, forehead and then back to his lips.

“I am kissing you, bastard,” Ed swallowed, and his voice squeaked lightly.

“Roy, it’s Roy. My name is Roy. Edward, you have no idea how much I’ve dreamed about this moment.” Roy said, voice huskily and grinning.

Roy tightened his grip on Ed’s shoulder, and he’s hugging him and repeating over and over how much he loves him. Edward stiffened slightly.

“What the fuck I’m doing?” His voice of reason demanded.

Ed drew back slightly from the warm feeling, the kiss still spread through his body, his bones, twisting and crushing until it’s reached the very center of his being, his heart. Edward feels a chill, and it’s not from the cool breeze. He’s frightened and terrified. What is this feeling? Not passion. Not desire. No, it can’t be love-an uncompromising love?

Edward wrenches away from his embrace. Roy raised his eyes brows and he’s looking at Ed, and all he sees is his love. It's like halo surrounding him, bright casting a beautiful and ethereal glow towards Edward. It’s waiting, waiting for something. Not something, but someone—him!

“Edward, I…that was...did you feel that...” Roy asked, catching Ed’s hand in his and tugged him back into his arms. “I’m not going to apologize for kissing you.”

“You don’t have to Mustang. I’m going to marry Winry,” Ed said, trying not to sound disappointed.

He turned to leave and then he was running, because if he dared to look back, he’d never have the courage (or willpower) to leave.

 

~o~

 

Edward lay in bed that night, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. When he returned to the house after running away from Roy, Winry had asked him from the outside of his bedroom door what Mustang wanted. Ed told her that he wanted to give his congratulations on their upcoming nuptials and wish him luck, etc. He never really lied to her before, apart from the time he spent in the Military and the search of the Philosophers Stone, but that was all convenient when she was in Resembool, and they were out there risking their lives, up against the Homunculi, Scar, and Father. She didn’t need to know the stuff that Edward had seen; he wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Sure, she came along at some point during the time up North and she was there when she learned the truth about her parents, but for many years they were apart.

Roy had asked him if he was in love with Winry and he’d never really thought about it until now. She was always around from since they were kids, she had built his auto-mail, she was family and loving her came naturally. But now the question lingered in his mind: was he in love with her? What was the difference between being in love and actually loving someone?

All this bullshit was all because of that bastard—Roy ‘fucking’ Mustang who was fucking manipulative, charming and attractive and he was in love with him, who said over and over he loved him. Who kissed him hard, deeply and with all his strength? It was intoxicating and filled with passion. Edward had never been kissed like that before. And the few kisses he shared with Winry they never felt like that. They didn't turn his insides to fire, shooting sparks out, making him weak to the very core of his soul. Edward never actually kissed Winry like that before himself, and he thought he was a fairly good kisser.

The first time he kissed Winry didn’t leave him gasping for breath or holding him captive. It’s actually strange because the first time he kissed her was only about a month ago after his return from out West. His trip was shortened due to the upcoming wedding. Through a series of letters, Winry had suggested a date, and he’d agreed. He still couldn’t believe that it was happening so fast. It seems like he’d just ask her to share fifty percent of her life with him.

Fuck Roy and his lips and his love. He waited all this time to confess after all those years Ed spent in the Military. He and his fucked up timing. Edward, who could admit now that he pined for the bastard from since he first laid eyes on him and he too had gotten a huge crush on him—then later learned it was love. He had long since realized that he never stood a chance since Roy would have chosen Hawkeye. But the fucker was in love with him, Edward. That was just fucking fantastic. What the fuck did he expect Edward to do now, run off with him on a white horse?

 _‘I’m fucking engaged!’_ Edward told himself.

He can’t leave Winry. He would not make her cry again. Never again!

He was simply going to close his eyes and sleep and tomorrow he was going to wait at the end the aisle and smile and pretend that what he always wanted, what he dreamed about was not being offered on a perfect gleaming platter. Roy Mustang with his fucking smirk that was always plastered across his perfect smug face. The man was too perfect with blue eyes that dammit— mesmerize Edward. He always thought they looked straight into his soul and he found himself lost into them— Every time he looked at the man’s eyes, he saw fire and ice, a battle of warmth and coldness trying to comprehend if they were dangerous or kind. He still remembered that day when Roy pulled him up from the wheelchair and looked into his eyes and ask ‘What did you do?’. Where Roy saw fire in his eyes, what he saw in Roy’s, was an unleashed power crashing, churning, trapped and waiting.

He tried closing his eyes hoping that sleep would be only moments away, but his mind kept reminding him of lips that were so soft and enchanting that kissed him like they’d never been kissed before and what it would be like to kiss them for eternity. What the hell kind of kiss was that anyway?

Shit! This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

What was he thinking? Edward had run away from him, and he didn’t blame him. He kissed the blonde and told him that he was in love with him. Now he was standing outside his bedroom door. What if Alphonse or Mrs. Pinako comes out from their rooms and see him or worse Ms. Rockbell? How will he explain why he was standing with his head leaning against Edward’s door?

After returning to the Inn where he was staying at, he tried to fall asleep, but he just couldn’t push Edward out of his head. That kiss was unbelievable, and he knew in his heart that Edward felt that electric hum that passed through them. He couldn’t let him marry Ms. Rockbell. He could not. If there were the slightest chance that Edward felt what Roy felt for him, he would risk everything just to take that leap and see where it took them.

He lifted his head from the door. Should he knock or just open door? Would Edward throw him out and wish never to see him again?

How long he stood at the door willing it to open by itself. For the first time in his life he felt powerless, he had to way no of controlling the situation, and Roy knows that he’ll never be able to control Edward. He could turn around and leave and move on and hoped that Edward would live a contented life.

He thought about his life. He still wanted to reach the top, become Fuhrer. His mom was healthy; he had his health. He had money, a nice home, a trusting team, who had become more like a family within that last couple of years. He was charming and one of the most eligible bachelors in Central. He’d painted a pretty picture of his life, and what he wanted to achieve and those goals remained.

He wasn’t the sort of person to just lay back and let the world slip by unnoticed. He’d work hard to get to the position he was in currently. A General at the age of thirty-two and people who believe in his ideals and hopes for the future.

He was complacent until Edward stormed into his life and everything perfectly portrayed on his canvas was chipping away. The deeper he fell in love with Ed, his picture perfect facade crumbled.

He realized that he’d been waiting, waiting for Edward. He was the challenge that Roy has been waiting for, the final piece to a puzzle of unanswered questions that magically fell into place. His life, his position, all the perils and triumphs that he faced in every form and never fled from the fear but embraced wisely give him the courage to pursue something greater, a dream to change his country. The comradeship for his teammates offered him a feeling of brotherhood. Thier loyalty as his goals grew bigger, standing by his side fighting, their trust never once wavering was a gift that he would never take for granted.

Dreams, hopes, goals are now within his reach, except for the one inescapable dream. The one that he never wants to give up. Ed was the dream that eluded Roy, the person he wanted to spend forever with was also out of his reach. For just the thought to make that dream a reality, he would calmly jump on the bandwagon of fate, hoping his manifested composure would take him to where his heart belonged. The perfect love, the love that he holds dear, didn’t discriminate but casts out fear. He didn’t need fear; he needed a second chance, and that did not seem to be a luxury where Edward was concerned. Maybe it’s not the happy ending he envisioned with Edward, but he could tell himself later that he took that gamble, that he didn’t give up.

He refused to walk away. He was the Flame Alchemist, and he does not give up, and he was not going to walk away from this anymore. It will be a fight for Edward until he’s no longer attainable. He knew his heart that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Watching from a distance at first was enough to placate his feelings for him, but not for long; he wanted more. He felt like a chain trying to tether itself to an anchor, an anchor that was Edward.

He remembered how they first met. Edward was broken, perhaps even empty, but was only the underlying of his temperament. Edward with surety is someone who is filled to the brim and overflowing with determination and excitement. Throughout the years that unshakeable, unchanging attitude never faltered. Roy wanted to know him, to unraveled the mystery of why he loved him so fiercely. He always wondered what it would be like to share his true feelings with someone. His cavalier approach towards love came off as being uninterested to the people closest to him.

Yes, he was known to be a rake and popular around the females, but that was suggestive, a machination to get information. In all honesty, a few romps beneath the sheets meant nothing to him. It wasn't about affection or love when he shared a night with a female; it was merely companionship. He never led on any woman in the pretense that he intended on asking them to his wife, prolonging an affair and he never mistreated their intelligence. Roy was nothing but a gentleman when he in the presence of any lady and he was always forthcoming with matters concerning the heart.

He always put his cards on the table beforehand and was adamant that he did not intend to have a relationship or fall in love. As it turned out, that wasn't the case with Edward. His feeling for at him at first may have been a jumbled mess, but that soon translated to desire and then later to something permanent: love. He had to see Edward. If he walked away now, he would always wonder what they could be together. The moment for making excuses was over, and he was done waiting, he had to face this love.

He turned the knob slowly and was relieved that it opened. He carefully shut the door and walked into the small space, eyes already examining the room. A soft glow from the moonlight entered through an open window, bathing the room in a warm pearl like radiance. He made out a wardrobe, a washstand, a bedside table with a small lantern and stacks of books strewn across the floor and other surfaces.  
A single bed stood out with crisp white cotton sheets, and someone laid on top sleeping.

That was Edward, with golden hair that dances with the light of the moon. It cascaded over his shoulders, and Roy wanted to reach out the thread his fingers through the rippling waves so badly— Roy shook his head; if he could do this, there would be plenty of time for that later.

This was the first time he’d seen his sleeping face and it was at peace. Edward who was headstrong, full of life and spirited was just resting perfectly still. He was dazzling and breathtaking stunning, and Roy realized that this is where he was meant to be, with Edward. Well, not here in this house, but with him, living a life full of him.

He knew him. Just like he was aware that Edward knew him. It wasn’t the usual things, like a favorite food or favorite color. It was something profoundly deep that the two of them understood. They had messy pasts, scarred hands and whispered flaws among them, but together they could weather any storm and come out slightly bruised, but victorious to keep on fighting.

He wanted his heart, unapologetically to protect, admire and hold dear to his own beating core as long Edward would allow him.

He could not allow him to marry someone else, not before knowing how Edward felt about him.

Roy made the few paces over to the bed, calling with a hushed voice, “Edward?Are you awake?”

He opened his eyes. Edward looked exhausted and surprised.

“Mustang?” He bolted upward from the bed, reality creeping in. The light from the moon cast a soft, gentle glow on his face and deepened his magnificent golden eyes. His blonde hair hung just above his waistline; his bangs curled around his face in soft tendrils that looked like golden spun silk. He was breathtakingly handsome. “What are you doing here and how in the hell did you get in here?”

“The door was unlocked. I wanted to see you and to make sure you were all right.” He replied.

“I’m fine Mustang,” he said, bluntly, “You do realize that I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“I know, and that’s why I’m here,” Roy whispered. “Are you angry with me, Edward?”

Edward shook his head and stared at him dumbly as if he had a pair of horns growing outwards from his head, “Don’t be ridiculous, idiot. I’m not angry with you. I’m tired, and I thought you were Al checking in on me if I’d known it was you...Why are you here? Didn’t you already say what you needed earlier?”

Roy allowed himself the tiniest of a smile, “I want to know if you feel the same for me as I for you?”

Silence. Edward looked away for a moment and then returned his gaze to Roy.

“Mustang, you are asking too much of me. Earlier today I was sure that I wanted to enjoy the rest of my life with Winry and you show up, and I’m questioning what kind of love I have for her. You can’t be here, now. Please, leave Mustang?” He turned away once again.

“Edward, I love you. I can’t change the way I feel about you and I won’t. I’m sorry if what I’ve said finally put a new perspective on your own feelings, but I’m not apologizing for my actions or my words. And Edward…” Roy took a step closer to him, voice firm. “I’m not leaving until you speak to me and tell me if I’m a fool to have fallen for you. If you say right now that you don’t love me, Edward I will leave. I won’t look back.”

“There’s nothing to say Mustang.” His eyes glistened with tears.

Roy raised an eyebrow, “What about, I love you too?”

“Don’t you dare say that again, you bastard,” he whispered head held low.

Roy sat on the bed, “I love you. I love you, Edward Elric. I love you.”

“Bastard. Idiot. I told you to stop saying that.” A single tear rolled down his cheeks.

Roy had never seen him cry before (The Promise Day when they nearly lost Al didn’t count because Roy had been blind then) He reached out and securely pulled Ed into his arms, wrapping his arms around his waist. Edward ducked his head in the crook of his shoulder, so he didn’t have to look Roy in the eyes. In the safety of Roy’s arms, he felt a few more tears fall.

“Edward, I love you so much. I can’t walk away not knowing that you don’t share these feelings.” He lifted his chin and raised his face, so he looks into those beautiful eyes. He brushed the stray tears away from Ed’s eyes with the pad of his thumb and tucked a strand of soft golden hair behind his ear.

Edward swallowed a lump in his throat, blink back the tears and took a deep breath. And those eyes with fire looked at Roy, causing his heart to stop. “I’m going to marry Winry tomorrow.”

“No, you’re not. You’re mine!” He declared and hugged Edward even tighter, afraid that if he let go, then he’d never get another chance.

“I’m what?” he blushed slightly.

“You are mine, Edward,” Roy hesitated and hoped that the statement didn't sound like he was trying to monopolize Edward.

“I am yours; yours am I. What is that supposed to mean, Mustang? Do you want me to break off the wedding, tell you ‘I love you’ and what, run away with you? Is that what you want Colonel?”

“Yes and no,” Roy said, softly, “I want you to make a choice like I’ve always given you. If you don’t love me, Ed, I’ll just walk away.”

“Mustang, when have you ever walked away from a challenge?” He pulled himself free from Roy’s embrace.

“I’ve never had too, but it’s not about only me, Edward.” He reached out and captured his hand in his. Edward did not pull away. He lined their fingers up together intertwining them in a playful caress.

“Edward, I want you,” he said indulgently.

Ed closed his eyes and shook his head, “Roy, please, I can’t.”

Roy tugged him closer until there was barely any space between them. “You know, that’s the first time you’ve called me Roy. Be with me, Edward, please I love you.”

He opened his eyes and licked his lips. “You fool. You fucking idiot. I’ve wanted to hear those words from you since the moment I knew I was in love with you. And on the eve of my wedding, you’re here telling me you want me. I hate you. I hate you, bastard.”

“You were in love with me?” He asked, touching Edward’s cheek. “Do you still love me? I need to know.”

He shook his head, golden hair falling over his shoulders. Cheek pressed into the palm of Roy’s hand and eyes closed “I love you, too. I always have. I never quite stopped loving you. It was always there waiting for you. Roy, you have no idea how much I wanted to tell you, but now it’s all wrong.”

Roy kissed the top of his head, “I know.”

“If I had known before how much you care,” Edward murmured, his eyes opening to look at Roy, “I might not have been here questioning my feelings for Winry, my decision to get married and why I’m still not asking you to leave.”

He took his hands in his. Edward tensed, but he didn’t pull away. “Edward, do you want me to leave?”

He closed his eyes. Roy could see the intake of each breath he took, the fall and rise of his chest, matching what he felt with his own hammering heart.

“This is too much Roy,” he whispered, “I can’t do this, and I can’t be with you. I’m sorry, Roy.” He wrenched himself free, and this time, Roy didn’t pull him back, but let him go.

Roy got up from the bed and said nothing. He turned his back to Edward and walked towards the open window. He braced himself against the window pane, every muscle in his body perfectly still, his breath frozen. His body was incapable of movements. He could feel himself moving closer to the edge. Edward didn’t say he wanted him to leave, but he stated that he couldn't be with him. ‘Did he actually mean those words earlier about loving him?’

Roy slammed his hand on the open window frame, shaking the panes. His emotions seized him; he was revealing his fear, his anguished at being rejected. Just a few words overturned his world, that kept turning over and over inside his head, ‘I can’t be with you.’

“Edward,” his voice hard and controlled, “I should have told you how I felt about you before all this. We’d be together, and I know that you’d make me the happiest man alive. What can I do to make you change your decision, make you understand that you can’t go through with this marriage. What else can I say? You told me you love me too, Edward. I told you how much I love you, that I’m IN love with you. Doesn't the count for something? Don't you want to take a chance and see if what we feel for each amount to something great? Tell me, Edward, tell me now that I’m a fucking bastard to fall in love with someone who can never be his. Tell me you don’t love me. Take it back Edward, because I’m not leaving until you tell me to go.”

“Yeah, Roy that some loaded rationale. Keep that up, and he’ll ask you to leave, and I’m sure it would be out of his life forever.” Hughes scolded him.

“Why are you angry with me?” Ed demanded. “You’re only making things worse, Mustang.”

“So, I’m back to Mustang,” Roy turned back around to face him and stared at him hard. “Maybe you should just continue calling me a bastard. It worked fine all this time.”

“You're an idiot! Why the fuck are you angry with me?” Ed asked again.

“I’m not angry with you Edward!” Roy snapped. “I just want you to leave—” He caught himself at the last moment. “I want you Edward, all of you. We belong together. If I’m wrong, give a reason to think otherwise.” He then added in his mind, “Anything.”

The blonde had no idea how enamored Roy was him. He was insane, mad and shamelessly in love with Edward. If Roy looked in a mirror, he would not recognize his own reflection. He was what Roy wanted. Needed. Edward closed his eyes, still perched on the bed. When he opened them again, he looked shattered, the glimmer is his aureate eyes dull.

“Roy, fuck, don’t do this. Don’t let this be the end for you. I’m sure there is someone out there for you, other than me of course.” His voice caught, and Edward shook his head. “I love you, Roy. I only wish I could convey to you how much. Fuck, bastard, that’s the one thing, I can’t do. It’s also the one thing I wish I could do, so you’d know. So you’d know just how I feel. To hear you say you want me, that you love me. Those words from you, you Roy…” Edward took a deep breath, “You fucking touched my heart and soul and the depths of my gratitude for everything that you’ve done for me, my brother. Fuck, fuck, my fucking idiot. Why now bastard? Why would you say all this now?”

In a one swift moment, he was on his bed, and Roy pulled him up, and he kissed him fiercely, again and again, each time harder, savoring the words that just left those lips and in between breaths he moaned and echoed. “I love you, Edward Elric, I’ll keep loving you. Is this enough of a reason for you, because this is me conveying to you how much I want you!”

Once Roy starting kissing him, it was impossible to stop. The taste of him, his scent was making him dizzy. His body trembled with a desperate need. He wanted to make Edward his. He felt every quiver from Edward; his sweet response emboldened a fire within, his arousal pressing into him. His desire took over, burning inside him. He was fire, tempted beyond reason, his mouth wanted to explore to taste and ravish. His fingers tingled, his body continued burning. Edward was in his arms and kissing him back.

A low moan rumbled from Edwards' throat. His breath ragged, his voice husky, rough. “It is, but.”

Roy cut him off and kissed his bruised redden lips again.

“—but it doesn’t change the fact the I’m going to walk down the aisle in a few hours.” He kissed him again, this time, tender, letting the fire within seeped in each movement of his lips across Ed’s. “Why do you kiss me like this?”

“You!” Roy murmured.

Edward raised his head. His eyes filled with longing and fuck the gods, Roy thought, love was there, too, “Me?”

“You! Yes, you,” he purred.

Roy cupped his face with his hands and kissed the corner of his lips, his nose, his eyelids and back to his lips again. His fingers wove through his hair and trailed down his back drawing circles until they reach the small of his back. Edward responded by arching his back and Roy pulled him tighter against him to so he could feel his desire.

“Oh my God—fuck, Roy!” Ed gasped.

His name coming from Edward’s lips made Roy’s toes curl; music to the ears, “Edward, I want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reading! 
> 
> Mustang really loves Ed right, I wonder what Ed's response will be after the last "I want you" those are my favourite three words when I'm reading romance novels. "I want you"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains lemony goodness. Just a warning.  
> Enjoy!

“Edward, I want you,” Roy said, dark eyes glinted with pleasure, “I love you.”

Roy’s words were piercing, they struck a chord within Edward. He wanted to cry. Fuck. He did just that already tonight, but the tears were not only of pain, sorrow, but they were also of happiness. When Roy utters those three words “I love you” over and over, they rescued Edward, snatching him away from sinking to depths of despair. They were wondrous words, shining with affection and adoration. He could say that he was selfish, greedy, that he shouldn't allow this to go any further or he should ask Roy to leave, but he doesn't want anyone else ever to hear those words. They are his words, all his and Roy said them to him, and yes he’s selfish because he wants Roy for himself.

Fuck it! He wants him, just as much he wants to be with Edward. He had wanted this before it was too late. Before his good side was begging him to stop. Before his commitment to Winry started looming over his head, passing its judgment.

Roy Mustang fucking loved him, and Edward believed him. There is no pretending that he doesn't want this, that he doesn't want this great man to tell him he wants to be with him. Edward could claim that he was being swept away by words and passion. That his ability to think is stripping away, his inhibitions reduced, but honestly he loves Roy just as fiercely and deeply as he proclaims he does for him. The decision to be kissed, to be pressed into his body, arching his back when Edward feels Roy manhood pulsing beneath his trousers, was all his. He was the only person that could condemn his actions, and his mind had already accepted the decision to take this further. Tomorrow was the future and this moment was in the present and he wanted to revel in this bliss and sink into Roy’s arms and let his love wash over him unconditionally.

Edward would hold this moment and those words dear to his heart for a lifetime, because this person who makes him feels like a fucking king, some supreme being wants him. He knows that he would always be wanted today, tomorrow and a lifetime by Roy. If Edward could freeze time he would so that he could wrap himself around him and never let go. To gaze into his obsidian blue, dreamy eyes, swimming with promises and everything that Edward has longed for in the dark and far away part of his heart; everything that Edward deserved; everything that he would never get a chance to experience beyond this moment. He would never get to do this again, but that just might be okay because this moment is all he needs. Right now, he would make this moment count. Be happy and present with Roy.

“How could he love you like this and never tell you?” A voice nagged in the back of his mind.

“It didn't matter because I know now and it’s amazing,” Edward argued back in his head, “It’s fucking incredible and this moment belongs to me, so fuck you anyway.”

“I love you, too,” Edward whispered, and it’s the truth, and Roy is still and waiting for him to say something more and his eyes asking what his heart desired. “And I want you, too.”

He stared at him for a long time and Edward doesn't know if he should add “for only tonight.” He probably would hate him tomorrow, because even though he want to give him more than just this evening, he can’t.

“I want you,” Edward said and licked his lips. He’s still staring, and his gaze is hard and penetrating, peeling away any last vestiges of doubt that are lurking in Ed’s mind, but at the same time asking once again if this is what Edward really wanted. “I want to be yours, Roy, please," he said again and added, “Tonight.”

Roy placed a finger to Edward’s lips, his eyes searching and he whispered, “Are you sure?”

Edward body shuddered; he had to concentrate on calming his heartbeat, slowing his breathing. “Water, 35 liters; carbon, 20 kilograms; ammonia 4 liters,—” Fuck. That always did the trick. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. Perhaps he would regret saying this, but fuck that thought. He would have no regrets for love that he feels for Roy, and Edward would not stamp out the burning attraction he has for him. His voice took on a sultry edge and before losing the moment, he made a bold attempt and pulled Roy closer until his mouth met his in a kiss and he replied between breaths, “The decision is already made, Roy, I can’t wait to be yours.”

“Edward, What do you want?” he growled roughly, voice low and thick as he pressed his lips on Edwards again, taking his mouth like he’s been longing since the moment he’d met him. It was intoxicating, slow and profound. Roy’s tongue ran over his lips, as he sought entrance. Edward parted his lips, and let his tongue touch the tip of Roy’s. He stiffened and deepened the kiss. His moans grew wild, a deep, low rumble in his throat escaping as he explored, searching every inch as if he’s memorizing the feel and taste of Ed’s mouth. Edward engaged his tongue with his own in a fierce battle for dominance. He shamelessly pushed himself against Roy. A low moan caught at the back of his throat. His body delighted at feeling the hardness of Roy’s arousal, pulsing with need. Edward had never wanted anything as much as for Roy to touch, to kiss him and feel those glove-less hands (or gloved; fuck, that sounded way too hot) hands on his bare skin.

“I want you, all of you.” Shifting in his arms, Edward stared at him, “I want you to take me, and continue kissing me like this forev-,” Ed caught himself, then deciding, “I want to feel you inside me, Roy.”

Heat flared in his eyes. He brought his mouth back down against Ed’s, harder, hungrier than before. He kissed him with hot and urgent kisses, opening his mouth, he thrust his tongue inside with a breathless moan. It was consuming, and Edward welcomed him, tangling his tongue with Roy’s, stroking and sucking. It was magical. It was perfect.

“Edward, Do you have any idea what those words are doing to me? You're beautiful, Edward, I want to give you everything. I want to BE your everything.” Very slowly, he started to kiss the outline of his jaw. “So beautiful and you taste….” He kissed his neck and sucked on his pulse. He raked his fingers through Ed’s hair, moaning and saying inaudible words over and over. Maybe it’s Ed’s name or something else, but whatever Roy’s doing to his neck, it’s something that he hopes never ends. Roy’s hands moved to his arms, towards his hips, and then to his ass. He squeezed and cupped, drawing Ed flush against his erection. Edward gasped, his hips arched and bucked. Roy’s touch is soothing, and it’s searing, and he feels so fucking big. Figures that his cock would match his ego. Edward could not help but grind against him, his body already responding in kind.

“Edward put your arms around my neck,” he murmured.

Edward bit down on his lips and lifted his arms, wrapping them around Roy’s neck. Roy hoisted him up so that he was straddling him, while sitting on the edge of the bed, with Ed’s legs on either side of his hips. Edward stared at him and licked his lips and waited. He was just looking at him and Edward felt exposed, each passing moment waiting on him to do something or say something. Edward was mesmerized by his eyes, hooded with desire, and the blue darkened like a stormy sky.

Edward parted his lips, and tilted his chin; he wanted to say something, but the words in his in head seemed to be one big jumble of letters, trying to configure a complete thought. His heart was pounding, and his chest grew tight. Roy’s eyes never left his face. Should he asked him what he found so fascinating about just staring into Edwards' eyes? Or should just let him enjoy the moment? Edward wondered what he was thinking, and if he didn't say anything, he was sure that his heart would leave the confines of his body.

Edward started to feel restless, and his fingers tingled. He knew he could no longer stay still and have the bastard look at him like Edward was a precious jewel; he had to say those words or they’d never be said, “Kiss me, Roy.”

And Roy did. His mouth came down on Ed’s, stealing his breath away with the demanding nature of the kiss. Ed parted his lips, and Roy explored once more. Edward didn't understand how he mastered kissing, but it was as if was swimming in a sea of molten lava. Roy’s tongue did wicked things to Edward’s mouth, and he took full advantage of the way Edward moaned every time. His hands found the small of his back and Edward felt him skimming the hem of his shirt, his hand sliding beneath the garment, leaving a trail of scorched marks in its wake. His bare palm against his skin felt like he snapped his fingers and lit Edward’s back ablaze. The cool breeze from the open window and the warmth of his touch pushed Edward deeper into a fiery spell that Roy was casting. He tugged his shirt from the waistband and without another thought Edward lifted his arms and Roy pulled the shirt over his head.

Edward wanted to touch him and resented the amount of clothing his Ro- that Roy was wearing. His hands slid from his neck, then inside his black coat, desperately seeking the source of all the heat he was emanating. Edward worked on loosening Roy’s tie and then unbuttoning his shirt. Edward pushed the shirt aside, and touched him and fuck— it was just as he imagined. The exposed skin was milky pale, soft and warm and Edward let his fingers grazed over one of his pink buds, Edward drew in a ragged breath and dipped his head to taste—

And maybe Edward wasn't ready for this because no fucking way someone should taste this delicious. Edward flicked his tongue around the little pink bud, swirling all around. He made a low sound, then sucked it in the back of his mouth. That elicit a rough, mumbled curse from Roy.

“Oh, Edward!” he growled, “You! What are you doing to me?”

Edward took the other nipple in his mouth, performing the same ministrations as he did to the first. Roy groaned and bucked his hips into Edward’s. And through the barrier of his pants, Edward felt him. He was pulsing, hot and hard beneath his legs and an electric jolt passed through Edward core, his member twitching, wishing and waiting.

“Too many clothes,” Edward panted.

In one fluid motion, Roy rose and deposited Edward onto the bed. He yanked off his coat and ripped off his tie (Fuck, that should not be so hot). Edward watched him fumble with the buckle of his belt and unzip his trousers, revealing a flat, muscled stomach. Fuck; he needed Roy. Roy removed his shirt and slid his pants down, not slowly but in a finesse that only the bastard could achieve. His hip-hugging boxers were seamlessly disposed of, causing Edward to take on a bug-expression; mouth gaping, he gasped and stared wide eyed. He was fucking beautiful, and no way in hell Roy should have to hide that body beneath those god forsaken Military uniforms all the time. If Ed had realized this is what lay underneath, he would have jumped Roy along time ago. Edward had his suspicions, but seeing him up close, well— beautiful wasn't quite the word to really describe how he looked. It was like someone took a chisel and spent countless hours getting each muscle to look no less than perfection. He wasn't muscular like Armstrong, but lean and lithe. He had a scar that marked the left side of his abdomen, but it only added to the beauty of the hardened muscles covering his body. His entire male prowess embodied grace, power, and art. Edward eyes drifted further down the swirling ridges of his manly precision and nestled between a sprinkling of black curls was his arousal and— fuck! Edward had picked up some light reading awhile back when he realized he wanted Roy. He understood the mechanics of what was required when he gives him his body, but now seeing him like this, maybe Edward should back out now because there was no way that his “whatever gods bless the bastard with” would fit inside him.

Before Edward had time to process that thought, though, Roy was covering him with his body, crushing his mouth beneath his lips. He raised Edward's hips and removed his boxers, in a swift tug that fucking took his breath away. Edward should probably keep track of the number of times Mustang was ‘taking his breath away’ because no way that was humanly possible. And, fuck there goes his breathing again as he stared at Roy, his own eyes hungrily tracing the outline of Edward’s body as if Roy was afraid that Edward would change his mind. He then crashed his lips against Ed once more, his hands anywhere and everywhere all at once.

Fuck, Ed never wanted this to end!

“Mmm Roy,” Edward groaned.

His lips were covering one of Edward nipples and like he did earlier Roy’s sucked on one of his pink buds. Edward felt overwhelmed by the tempest of desire spiraling and swirling violently inside in body. He bucked and arched his back completely off the bed. Edward was fire; a man made of fire. He was moaning like crazy. He needed something, something more.

“Steady, Edward,” Roy said, a naughty smile formed on his perfect face. “Please, be quiet and patience.”

“Fuck you, bastard,” Ed snapped, panting hard.

“Fuck you?” Roy raised an eyebrow, “Yes I can do that.”

Then, Roy pushed against his erection, and he wasn’t touching Edward, not there as yet, at least but close enough, Ed rocked back, grinding and the friction was too much and—Ed didn’t want to come apart from the feel of Roy against his crotch. He wrapped his legs around his hips. Roy’s response was a heated groan, and he pressed against Ed hotly, grinding his pleasure zone.

“And, really Edward, you have to be quiet.” He said huskily, soft lips and warm breath brushed the words against his ears, nipping at his lobe. “As much I enjoy seeing you writhe and squirm with pleasure, moaning wildly, which is music to my ears, I don’t want it to be cause for alarm of anyone’s awakening.”

“Bastard,” Edward grunted, barely able to get a breath.

“Do you mean, your bastard?” Roy chuckled, still nipping at his earlobe, then his lips lightly caressed and tenderly made love to his neck.

“No more talking, my bastard,” Edward said, arching a suggestive eyebrow, while a wicked smirk played on his lips, “I need you.”

Roy breath quickened, and he shook his head, his lips curving in a smirk of his own, he brought Edward hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss into them.

“I’ve been waiting for this—Edward you have no idea how long I wanted this. It feels like I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. I didn’t even know if it was possible. I didn’t know that you’ll have me and now I don't want to let you go. I don’t even want to—Is this real, Edward?” Sharply, Roy turned his eyes from Edward's hands to his face, “Please, tell me that I’m not dreaming, that I’m actually here with you and kissing you— God, you’re are fucking beautiful. I hope you know how much I love you because I do, Edward.”

Edward only response to those words was to kiss Roy. He understood just how much Roy meant when he said that he loved him, “I know, Roy.”

He smiled slowly, eyes smoldering and good gracious, Edward thought he was sexy before, he couldn't even find words to describe him now. Not that he’d never thought of anyone as “sexy” before, so not a lot of experience with words like that.

“Edward, my beautiful sunshine,” Roy murmured, before recapturing Ed’s lips, pouring every ounce of his love, longing, and passion into the kiss.

It was a slow rhythm: and that was somehow in sync to his quick shallow breaths. Roy kissed the line of Ed’s jaw, then down to the hollow of his neck, sucking on his pulse, before moving down his chest. He stopped and flicked his tongue languidly over the tips of his nipples, taking one of the buds in his mouth. The supple pink nipple contracted and burned with intensity, darkening with each tugged from the heat of his lips.

Edward arched beneath him.

“Oh my God, Roy! I want you. I can’t wait any longer,” he begged and grasped his shoulders, crying out in surprise, “Fuck Roy, please!”

A sharp sound tore from Roy’s throat, as he pushed Edward’s legs apart. His mouth made a slow descent from his chest, over Edward's abdomen. He hovered for a moment staring at the scar on Edward’s abdomen, then he gently placed butterfly kisses along the edges of the mark, planting more lingering ones as he moved in a spiral pattern to the center of the scar. Edward blushed like crazy.

“You’re beautiful, love, so sweet,” he whispered soothingly, as he continued to kiss all the way down to the source of Edward’s heat.

Edward glanced down at the top of Roy’s head before he felt fingertips grazed the top of his member, trailing up and down. Edward wiggled and squirm, his breathing borderline on panting, his mind at the edge of delirious. Roy lifted Edward slightly by the rear, and his mouth came down enveloping his swollen arousal. Roy pushed it further into his mouth, drawing it out slowly, smacking his lips off whenever he pulled back to the tip. Edward was wild, stripped of all inhibitions, his mind no longer functioning, his body completely letting go, riding the frenzy of pleasure.

His body was engulfed in an inferno flames, catapulting him a fiery pit of passion. He buckled and arched as he raised his hips to give Roy better access, trusting his desire deeper into Roy’s mouth. That didn’t slow him down as Roy took Edward further and further, the need to release taking over his body. His chest heaved as he felt the high of his pleasure building up. Edward shuddered as his body convulsed in a chain reaction of sensations so powerful that he could not think and his core throbbed, his breaths came harsh and ragged, and his release took over, coming down hard and then exploding out.

Edward screamed in his pleasure, not caring if the occupants of the house could hear him or the world. He never experienced something like this before. It was unbelievable, fantastic, thrilling. Roy Mustang was a fucking god and Edward was damned.

A few pants later, Edward was murmuring, “That was sensational.”

“It's not over, love,” Roy responded with a wicked smirk as he licked his lips, showing a hint of evidence of Edward’s release.

Roy leaned into Edward and kissed him on the mouth, running his tongue over his lips, lingering so Edward could taste the saltiness of his own release. Edward groaned as he let Roy slip his tongue into his mouth, caring only slightly about the taste since Roy’s fucking amazing tongue was mostly all he needed to get turned on again (though the taste of his cum was helping).

Finally, he peeled his lips away from Edward's own, smirking slightly.

“Really!’’ Edward said, cocking his head slightly to the side assuming a self-satisfying smirk.

“Yes,” Roy said wickedly, “When I’m through with you, Edward, you will either beg me to stop of demand for more.”

“So,” Edward buried his head in Roy’s shoulder and put his arms around the broad expanse of his back, grinding his newly awakened arousal against Roy’s, “what’s stopping you?”

“You’ll be the death of me, Edward Elric, no doubt in my mind,” Roy spoke exasperatedly, brushing his lips affectionately along Ed’s shoulder where his auto-mail used to be. Edward shuddered slightly, but relaxed, because he knew what was in Roy’s heart already and both of them had battle scars that did not take away from what they shared at this moment.

“Edward Elric, the death of Roy Mustang?” he replied, amused, “I thought that already occurred years ago when I was under your command.”

“Touché,” Roy responded. He placed one of his hands in Edward’s hair and pulled him closer, letting the golden tendrils slip through his fingers as he kissed Ed long and hard enough for him to start moaning again. He pulled back reluctantly and brushed a strand of hair out of the blonde’s face, “Are you sure, Edward?”

“I’ve never been this sure of anything, Roy,” Edward cooed, his heart thudding in his chest.

Roy raised his head and reached down to the floor where his jacket landed and pulled out something from his jacket pocket. He held the small tube up and unscrewed the cap, squeezing an ample amount of the substance onto his fingers. Edward was completely at a loss for words.

Firstly, who carries around lube with them?

And secondly, why was Roy putting it on his fingers?

The answer to that question came only seconds later, in the form of Roy moving between Edward, spreading his legs even further apart. Slowly, he rose Ed slightly at the base of his rump, parted his cheeks and grazed his fingers over his passage.

Edward moaned softly at the new sensation of the cold gel on his skin. Roy drew tiny circles at his entrance, his body responded by lifting his hips higher. Roy held Edward in place with one hand and with a slow even pressure, he slipped one finger inside his gripping entry. It burned like fuck, and Edward didn’t know what do. His body tensed and the need to pull away take hold.

“I’m sorry,” Roy whispered sincerely, pressing his forehead to Edward’s, “I will be gentle. Try to relax, Edward, you’ll feel pain, but I promise you, that you’ll love this and it does get better.”

“Have you—” Edward asked, before clamping his mouth shut, realizing that he didn’t want to know the answer to that question. The thought of Roy with someone else— jealous no, impossible—

“No, Edward! I’ve never been with anyone else, like this,” Roy admitted, quickly and reassuringly.

“Roy,” Edward whispered because he didn't know what else to say to Roy’s admission. Those words crawled inside his body, finding his heart and pulling it away from the connective tubes, holding it high and casting it outwards until Edward could see it clearly. Packed inside the glowing chamber was a contentment in the form of love and promises that are yet to be determined. The words came easily from his lips, and he looked Roy directly in the eyes, “I love you.”

“Edward, I love you,” he answered, slipping another finger inside the blonde.

Edward felt the burning discomfort as the two fingers moved inside him in scissor-like motions. A third finger was inserted, and Edward didn’t know what this feeling was, he wanted to pull away, but something was grabbing hold of him. Roy was stretching his opening in ways that Edward never knew possible. He thrust his fingers deep inside until Edward gasped out loud and bore down hard on his hand.

“Fuck! Mmm, that felt amazing. I want more. I need more,” Edward threw back his head in a breathy moan.

“Ahh,” Roy hummed, amused, “I think I found your pleasure point.”

His fingers started to move easily in and out of the blonde now. Edward pushed down on them each time Roy deepened the thrust, moaning softly at the sudden bursts of pleasure.

Suddenly, Roy withdrew his fingers.

Roy shifted his weight slightly and Edward dared to look at him, since even if curiosity killed the cat, screw the cat anyway. The Colonel squeezed a bit more of the lube onto his hand coating his erect member. Edward watched in fascination as he stroke himself, turning Edward on more than he was already. They stared at each other, eyes locked in a heated stare of pleasure and passion.

Roy gently raised his leg up and position his slick arousal against Ed’s rosebud passage. Edward waited, nerves on alert, and body increasing with urgency, aching with need. Edward had to touch him; he spoke his name and Roy mouthed the words “yes” and his eyes burned with a feral hunger. Edward shivered, and not from the cool breeze entering the room, but from those eyes glinting with fire.

Roy dipped his head down and sealed Edward lips in a kiss, tongue sweeping inside his parted lips, but before the kiss could become too heated, he pulled back.

“Do you still want me inside you?” Roy growled beneath his lips.

The need to touch him grew stronger. Edward hand reached down and softly, tentatively his fingers grazed over Roy’s arousal. Fuck! Edward gasped, his fingers automatically wrapping themselves around his shaft, stroking lightly. Roy throbbed and pulsed beneath his touch; his muscles pulled tightly, and Edward was shocked that feeling Roy’s arousal was enough to stir the heat deep inside him, begging for a release.

“Yes, fuck, yes, Roy,” Edward cried out, breath mingled with Roy’s.

“I love you,” Roy murmured. He removed Ed’s hands and moved into position, pressing softly as his tender entrance. Edward drew in a deep breath and flexed his hips, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he said quickly, arching his back wantonly and raising his hips against Roy’s hardness and heat.

Roy gripped him on the hips and raised them higher. One hand on his hip, the other guiding his heat inside of Edward. Edward felt the tip brushed past his opening and he gasped. He was large, fucking hard as steel. He eased his member inside carefully and slowly, body stilling at times as he tightens his grip on Edward's hips and another inch of his hardness etched it’s way into Ed body.

Edward felt his insides filling up. It wasn't as painful as he thought it would be, uncomfortable at first and the burning sensation soon gave way to a craving. Roy paused for several seconds, allowing Edward’s body to get accustomed to the feel, to stretch around his fully sheathed cock, while Roy tried to keep himself from losing it. Edward didn’t realize that he was holding his breath and now every muscle in his body was keenly waiting, they flexed and pulsed around Roy’s hardness.

“Please, Roy…move,” Ed begged breathlessly.

 

~o~

 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Edward,” Roy murmured, every muscle in his body tense. He had never wanted anything so badly in his Goddamn life before, in the way he wanted to be with Edward. Edward was his at this moment; he was all his. He could—would never love another person, in this world or the after, the way he loves Edward. He was made for him, and even if he couldn't have him for eternity, he would have him tonight, and maybe that’s all Roy needed, that’s all he was meant for, to give Edward one night of love, (his love). Roy’s thoughts begin to spin wildly, and he shook his head, bringing his focus back to ‘his sun’ trembling and moaning beneath him, “If I hurt you, I don’t know if I could live myself.”

“You won’t,” Edward groaned, and then Roy started to move.

He pushed and thrust, embedding himself deep within Edward’s body. If Edward felt pain, he didn’t care, or he was as completely overtaken by flares igniting around them, signaling desire and intense passion. He was so beautiful as he writhed and panted beneath Roy. He arched and bucked, his hands coming up around Roy’s back wildly, scraping and digging his fingers deep into his muscles.

The sensations were overwhelming. Edward cried out each time he surged into him. Roy groaned, his body claiming him, moving in rhythm with Edward as he plunged his hard member inside his hot, warm insides. They panted together in ragged breaths; that were in perfect harmony.

“Oh, Roy, that feels good. I’m going to—,” Edward gasped, head thrown back, revealing the tendons of his neck.

Roy slammed into him harder. It was too much. He needed to breathe. He was not in control, his thoughts beyond anything but giving Edward pleasure, delving in the greatest happiness they were sharing.

“Edward, Edward, Edward,” he moaned, “I can't hold out for much longer.”

He clenched his teeth together trying to hold back. He wanted to see Edward come apart, to take him the highest peak of pleasure.

“Roy, I’m going to—" Edward tightens around him, his body shook and shuddered.

The sensation overtook Roy, and he was in an entirely different world, with colors so bright he had to shield his eyes. His hand came around Edward’s erection, stroking him up and down. Edward gasped, and Roy thrust deep and hard. The fires within him rose and fuck— the intensity of the pleasure took over, a small groan ripped from inside his core and Roy let go. He let go. Exploding the same time as Edward, both shattered, spent and pleased.

“I love you,” Roy gasped as he collapsed on top of Edward.

“That was— beautiful,” Edward said, panting, in short, desperate breaths.

“Yes, absolutely, fucking incredible!” Roy agreed, taking Ed’s lips in his. Ed moaned helplessly in his mouth as Roy devoured his lips eating up every sound that escaped from his mouth.

This was love Roy thought, and those three words that they both shared with each other was always going to be hanging above their heads, following them on whichever path they took that led from this moment. Roy could no longer do without them as much as Edward. They did not need to express what tomorrow hold, though, that would come at a later time, but without a doubt; as they lay in each others' arms, the love that surrounded them would not change, it would be remembered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Some time later, after Roy took Edward again, (honestly they couldn't help themselves) they lay in bed completely satisfied and wrapped in each other arms, reveling in the pleasures they shared moments ago. Roy idly stroked Edward’s hair in silence, watching the rise and drop of his chest. Edward traced the outlines of his burn mark, asking Roy when he acquired the injury; in returned Roy explain about Lust, Alphonse, and the lab. Edward looked at him tenderly and mouthed _“Thank you.”_ He didn’t need to ask what that was for because he knew that it was to thank him for looking out for his brother.

Roy is enraptured irrevocably with Edward, and one of the most difficult things to do would be to get up from this bed and walk out that door, leaving Edward behind. If he had his way he would throw “his sun” over his shoulders and make a run for it, never looking back. The thought alone brought a gentle smile to his face and warming his already bleeding-heart. It was probably a fool’s errand to think he could easily carry out that effort—Edward over someone shoulders would most likely amount to that person getting smack across the head or maybe hospitalized for an extended period.

Edward started to drift off to sleep, and Roy tucked his hair behind his ears and kissed his forehead. Roy always thought he was beautiful when he was awake, showing the world his brightness, but a sleeping Edward is what he would regret. Roy would never have another moment or the luxury to look upon a sleeping Edward Elric. Perhaps the difficulty of Roy leaving, of feeling that pang of regret, is knowing that he planned to let go of Edward and to forget about him. Roy prepared little by little to try and stop loving him, to let his heart remained here in Resembool. He did not need it any longer because engrave upon his ticking timepiece is Edward's name. What use there is for a heart that has been already claimed? It has no future in the prospect of finding love again.

If he has to endure this pain, that comes along with leaving, then he hoped it comes quickly. Because even without a heart, he still had to live a life. He made promises to others and planned to see them through, no matter if his beating core was left in an oblivion of love, rooted in the person that planted the seed.

The one thing that he could leave with was; a comforting thought, a joy of being able to say that he showed and told Edward how much Roy loved him and knew he returned those feelings. He may have no claim to him, but that didn't take away from the satisfaction of this memory, the night he shared with Edward, the night he confessed his love to him. It will remain with him forever, unspoiled and treasured.

Reluctant to remove himself from Edward’s embrace, he raised himself from the bed carefully as he could, disentangling Edward’s body from his. He paused momentarily and looked down at Edward— he shook his head, finding Edward’s blanket he pulled it up over his body, tucking it in at his sides and under his chin.

“Roy, where are you going?” Edward asked, opening his eyes to look at him, scaring Roy a bit.

“The sun will be up soon,” he said apologetically, slowly gathering up his clothes from the floor.,“I thought I’d make my escape before the residents of the house arise.”

The thought of anyone catching him in Edward’s bed or having to put him through the shame of explaining. The humiliation, the slander that would ensue was not something that Edward deserved from anyone.

“Yeah… I guess,” he looked surprised, as he stared up at Roy, “Do you mind staying awhile longer?”

Roy looked at him puzzled. He seemed embarrassed and nervous when he asked him to stay longer, “Do you think that is wise, Edward?”

“No, but you can stay until I’ve fallen asleep.” Now Roy was getting worried. Edward looked away awkwardly, hiding his eyes beneath the blanket.

“Will you be all right, Edward?” Roy asked, sitting back down on the side of the bed. He leaned over and embraced Edward, taking a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could hear the small intake of Ed’s breath as he made a weepy sound, faltering the regular rhythm of his heart beat.

Edward was shaking his head, whispering from the under covers, “I'm all right, Roy.”

Roy pulled back and lifted Edward’s chin and looked into his bright golden eyes, “I don’t think you are, Edward.”

Tears started to welt his eyes, the streaks staining his cheeks, “Don’t worry, I’m fine, really,” a note of optimism in his voice, “Today is a new day and who knows what's going to happen. I know, but—Roy please, can you stay awhile longer? That’s all I’m asking.”

Roy tightened his hold on Edward, his hands stroking his back, up and down. “Edward, I will stay, and I’m right here, so please no more tears. I can’t bear to see you sad or crying.” He kissed him gently on the lips before tucking his head neatly under his chin.

Edward smiled sleepily, his gold eyes barely visible between his thick lashes, “I’m just confused Roy; I don’t understand all these feelings, and I don’t know what to do. I kinda fucking just complicated the shit out my life.”

Roy lifted Edward’s hand and pressed a kiss into his palm. His lips traced up each finger, pressing tiny kisses to the tips and back down to his palm and murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“Roy, I really do love you, and you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Edward replied. And with a yawn, then he curled himself around Roy, his arms over his chest, his Automail leg over his, his head tucked securely under Roy’s chin, and a moment later, he was sleep, a gentle snore escaping from between his lips.

Roy blinked back tears of his own, leaning over slightly until his chin rested on the top of Edward's hair, kissing the silky strands. He smoothed his hands down his shoulder and arms,“I love you, Edward.”

He sighed in his sleep, but he didn’t move, and somehow Roy knew that Edward felt safe in his arms. The tears burned in the back of his eyes, and he tried to hold them back, but they started falling hard and fast, his cheeks burning from the steaming hot clear liquid.

Roy had never wanted anything more than to hold Edward, when he needed holding, to kiss away all his sadness from his life, to watch him curse and get upset, to see him bounce from city to city, taking everything in his life by storm, thirsty for adventure and knowledge. He wanted everything that was Edward. He wanted to protect him. To hold him and watch his lips curl into an Edward Elric smile and Roy would be happy. He wanted this forever. He wanted to be with Edward forever-

But he had to give up the dream and leave, sooner rather than later.

Pain like he’d never known before stabbed at his heart and Roy wrapped his arms around Edward and buried his face in his hair, letting all the memories from the night soak into his heart. The way his lips tasted, the smell of his skin and hair, his touch, the feel of his skin and his body beneath Roy as he had writhed and squirmed with pleasure, the way the words “I love you, Roy” fell from his lips. Roy let all the images and senses of Edward burned their way inside him, brightening every inch and space within his body.

 

~o~

 

It was still dark when Roy slipped out the house unnoticed. He took one look back at the Rockbell’s house as he hopped into the car. Roy retrieved the keys from his coat and shoved them in the ignition, started the car and drove off. A couple of miles into the ride back to the Inn, Roy slammed on the brakes of the vehicle bringing the car a sudden stop, he dropped his head onto the steering wheel, crying softly.

“Its over, its over, Roy.” A soothing voice softly echoed in his thoughts as he continued to cry, “just let it all out and I know you’ll be fine.”

Roy took a deep breath, pulling air in, letting it fill his lungs. He pressed his foot on the gas pedal and watched the needle start to rise again. He rolled down the windows, and let is arm rest upon the sill of the open car window. The late summer air ran over his face, soothingly, the smells invaded his senses. Roy inhaled again, the smell of fresh cut hay, mingled with the soft scent of the dewy morning grass was invigorating. His eyes were bleary from the lack of sleep, widening each time the morning air continued to sweep over his face and tussling his hair. The sounds of the roosters crowing signaling sunrise, was somehow nostalgic while somewhere in the distance, a dog barked mournfully, mirroring Roy’s own grieving. It all had a romantic outlook, the country with its sentimental landscape, an undeniable attraction and that was exactly what Roy wanted to get away from (objectively).

The sun was already peeking out from clouds that parted enough to see the rays. Roy could make out the Inn as he drew closer to the town. He was exhausted and needed to grab a few hours of sleep before asking Riza to bring him to the station, in hopes that a train was scheduled today, to anywhere that wasn't Resembool. Roy slowed down as he carefully pulled into the Inn’s courtyard, shutting off the car. He climbed out of the vehicle and walked up the steps to the front door, reaching in his pocket for the keys to his room.

When he reached his room, Roy opened the door, he shucked off his coat, slither out of his shoes, made his way towards the bed and collapse on the mattress. His body ached and burned, as the last of his energy drained. It was still hard to believe that just yesterday he left Central. So much happened in a few hours, but right now he couldn't think of anything but sleep.

 

~o~

 

“Sir, is everything okay?” Riza asked.

“No!” Roy thought, then said, “I’m fine Lieutenant, can you please drive? I believe you said that there’s a train that leaves at two to East City and I would rather be waiting at the depot, rather than hold up the vehicle. I’m sure they’ll be plenty of people that will need to be driven to the Rockbell’s later on.”

Riza drove away from Inn, stealing glances at Roy through the rear view mirror,“You won’t be one of the people, Sir?”

Roy answered with a nod. Riza had woken him only about an hour earlier; she did not ask why he slept in or what time he returned, she just handed him a coffee and muffin she’d saved from breakfast. When he told her that he would be returning to Central, she did not question him but said that she'd go and check the train schedule.

“I’m sorry that it did now work out for you, Sir,” Riza said, turning her gaze toward him briefly through the mirror and back to the street.

Roy must have misunderstood what Riza said; he was sure she implied that he was running away from something or maybe someone, “Lieutenant, what do you mean?”

She fixed him with one of those contemplative looks before asking. “Sir, did you have an argument with Edward?”

Roy’s eyes widened in horror, but quickly turn his face into a frown, “Lieutenant, I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

She kept her voice calm, but groaned inwardly, “That is interesting, Sir.”

Roy swallowed convulsively, and took a quick deep breath, “What’s interesting, Lieutenant?”

He’d been so caught up with his evolving emotions concerning Edward, that he forgot how perceptive and observant Riza can be. She never missed a beat in anything around the office, Roy’s sometimes personal life and political world. Of course, she would have figured out that he was not acting like himself and perhaps that he was rather fond of Edward, no one other than Riza (and Hughes) would have guessed it.

“That you would walk away from Edward. I always thought you cared for him rather deeply, Sir,” she replied a touch of disappointment in her tone.

There it was, she knew that he saw Edward in something more than just a Commanding Officer and Subordinate, but two years had long since the past where Edward was no longer in his command. Could she suspect that it started before Edward relinquished himself from the Military clutches? He believed that Riza had feelings for him. The way she sometimes looked at him, fought for him and stood by his side. The woman had made some declaration about dying for him. Either way, she had her suspicions he surmised, so the least he could do was admit what Edward meant to him, “Of course, I care for him, Lieutenant. I love—.”

“That’s what I thought, Sir,” she simply stated, a wan smile curved at the edges of her mouth.

Roy raised his eyebrows, letting a similar smile grace his lips and asked, “You knew all this time?”

“Sometimes I think you don’t know me as well as you think, and I did, Sir. It was pretty obvious.”

Roy caught Riza’s eyes in the mirror for a moment and looked at her. “Why didn’t you say something sooner! I always thought that you—.”

“It wasn’t my place to say anything on the subject, Sir,” she answered, “And, I did, but I always supposed you didn’t see me in this way or else you would have noticed. You were clearly in love with someone else and then the realization that it was, in fact, Edward, Sir. I was never going to be that person to supply you with the love that you have for him; eventually, my feelings for you faded away.”

It was probably a stupid gesture, but Roy leaned forward and touched her shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

“Please, Sir, no apologies are needed,” Riza said, smiling faintly and her eyes saddened for a moment, “It’s all in the past, and I’m without a doubt past those feelings. I only see you in love for the man that will usher the country into something that historians will write about for decades, centuries. A man with one of the kindest hearts I’ve have ever known and you Sir can see the light at the end of dark tunnels for other people.”

“Lieutenant, once again I’m sorry!” Roy wasn’t sure for which reason he was apologizing, but he felt a compelling urge for her to understand that he was sorry, despite her assurance that it was not necessary.

The fact that he couldn't return any affection on the broader scale of love towards her; that he never once asked her what she felt about him; that he was sorry that he'd fallen for someone else. He knew that being sorry for the last part was never something he should apologize for or that Riza wanted him to feel any regret for where his heart led him.

“Sir, you have better things to worry about,” she said, her expression lightened, her eyes glistened with sincerity, “What did Edward say when you told him?”

Roy related to Riza everything, down to the last detail of the night before. He did not want to mention to her about taking Edward, but one apparently could not hide something from Riza, period. The woman was far too insightful, and Roy smiled at that. He felt slightly empowered to unburdened all those feelings he’d kept hidden so well all these years to Riza. She just listened and did not judge. She was truly a dear friend. Why Roy never confided in her before or even asked her about her own feelings was a mystery to him. He was no coward, but the not knowing thing always could be justified—

There’s no point in thinking about it now.

After they had been done talking and Riza had pulled over, she suggested softly, “Shouldn’t you at least say goodbye to him, Sir? I believe you owe him that much, at least.”

Roy sighed, “And go to that Wedding?” he shook his head, “Riza, I can’t do that. I’ll end up doing something drastic.”

“No, you won’t unless you want to, Sir?!” Riza stated, firmly, “I know how much you care about Edward and he cares for you the same way. And I know that neither of you will be able to move on if you don’t say goodbye; not you, not Edward. No one will move on, and that can cause major issues in the future. Please, Sir. Do it for Edward.”

Roy closed his eyes and considered her words carefully, before nodding.

 

~o~

 

Edward's eyes widened suddenly, and he peered around Al’s shoulder. They were transfix on a very dashing General. Luckily Al was holding him steady while he tied his tie or he would have been a ship sinking to the depths of the ocean.

Roy Mustang was leaning against the door frame. He was without a doubt the most fucking handsome man Edward had ever met, and he was, of course, a fucking temptation. Roy was smiling, which was indescribable, because the idiot never smiled, but smirked continuously. Fuck! Why was he here?

Edward mentally shook his head, “Ed what are you thinking? Pull yourself together. He’s probably here because you are still getting married and oh fuck—.”

“Oh, Edward!” his consciousness cackled, “You slept with him last night, and it was mind blowing and let me remind you, you said it was 'beautiful.' You’re still walking on cloud nine, and you can still feel his touch, his lips, the way he moaned your name when he—.”

“Shut up, you!” Edward hissed at his annoying conscience.

“And remember everything that he told you, and again, the sex was fucking awesome.” The chirping in his ears continued. “Just cancel the damn wedding already and run off with him into the sunset so you guys can make out with each other for the rest of your lives.”

“Shut up! You’re annoying me now!” Edward snarled inwardly, causing Al to stare at him funny.

“Are you okay, Brother? And please keep still, I just need to…,” but before Al could finish, Roy coughed in his hand from behind Al’s back.

“Greetings, Fullmetal,” the bastard was chuckling, “and Alphonse, hello.” He stood up straight and walked into the room, “May I come in, Alphonse?”

“Oh, General, you’re here and hello,” Al said a bit surprised, “he’s all yours. I’m going to go and check in with the girls.”

“Wait, Al, I thought you wanted to do this?” Edward asked, gesturing to his untied necktie.

“I think the General can handle it,” Al said, lightly punching Ed in the shoulder. “Besides Ed, I’m sure he’s had plenty of practice.” Al winked, he fucking winked. What was that all about? “And you and I both know that we've hardly even worn one.”

“Fine,” Ed grumbled. He yanked the tie from around his neck and tossed it to Roy.

“Great,” Al responded before he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Edward sighed, “So, you’re going to put that thing around my neck or stand there and look at me all day?”

Roy blinked several times after staring at Ed in a trance-like state and replied, “I don’t know what you mean.” Then he laughed off his remark and pulled Edward towards him.

“Like hell,” Ed mumbled.

Roy draped the tie around the upturned collar of his white dress shirt, warm fingers grazed slightly against the nape of Ed’s neck, sending chills down his spine. Ed swallowed, his throat bone dry. Roy was whispering something about eighteen different way to knot a tie as he crossed the two ends, one a little longer than the other, and made a couple of loops. Ed’s heart was hammering in his chest, and he could barely hear what Roy was saying over the rise of blood through his ears. He tried looking at him, but the moment his eyes met his, his heart leaped in his throat, and he couldn't breathe. His pulse was racing at a speed that was plainly inhuman.

“Edward?” Roy lifted his chin, bringing them eye-to-eye. He looked worried for a moment, but then he smiled and pulled back, admiring Edward, “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you look this handsome before. Not that I don’t think you’re the most beautiful person I know, because you are, but you look lovely.”

Edward smiled nervously, “I wish you wouldn't be such a sap and say sappy as fuck things, especially when only like this and I thought that you—.”

Roy looked panic-stricken, the smug smile on his face disappearing instantly, turning into something a keen to distraught. “What is it, Edward?”

“I thought you left without saying goodbye,” Edward said, laughing comically. It was a ruse, of course, he was barely holding it together, “I figured that you wouldn’t come to the wedding or I hoped you still would have tried to be there. But I had already accepted that you probably would not have come, but you didn’t say goodbye, Roy. You left, which I expected, but you didn't say goodbye.”

Roy touched his lips, “Shush, love. I’m sorry. I’m here now. I was going to leave, but a friend knocked some sense into me. How could I think I could leave without telling you goodbye, Edward? I love you, and I hope you don’t hate me if I say that I’m not going to the wedding. I don’t think I could sit there in blissfulness and watch you walked out my life forever. I can’t sit back and look at the person I love marry off someone else. I’m a selfish bastard, Edward. So greedy when it comes to you.”

“You are an idiot. I hope you know that, right,” Edward kissed the tips of his fingers, “And Roy, never in this lifetime or another that I would ever hate you, at first, but that was all a mask to hide my truest feelings.”

“So, you kept telling me, but I hope that I’m your idiot,” Roy said unabashedly, “maybe you do love me after all Edward Elric.”

“I knew it, you are a fucking idiot, and maybe a bastard. No, the last one is a definite,” Edward laughed out loud before Roy put his palm over his mouth and covered it.

“Ed, would you please stop laughing? I was serious, and I thought we were having a moment.”

“Okay!” he said, with a muffled chuckle, “I’ll stop laughing, but take your hand away from my mouth,” And for good measure, Ed added on, “My idiot, bastard whom I love dearly and will for as long as humanly possible.”

“Love enough to cancel this wedding?” Roy whispered, seemingly stuck in his own world.

“Roy, I can't do that,” Edward said flatly, stepping away from him as if he’d been struck, “I can’t do that to Winry.”

Roy looked at him blearily, defeated and those words he just let slip out his mouth “cancel this wedding” was echoing inside of Edward’s head, like a fucking mantra. “Cancel this wedding” over and over. It was something he contemplated doing, just after waking up from one of the best nights of sleep he had in forever. He was going to tell Winry that he’d made a mistake or something along the lines of I’ve fallen for someone else, or we could not be happy together, or I don’t love you, I’m not in love with you. No matter how hard he tried to put a string of words together that sounded plausible as a way to call off the wedding on amicable terms, they all ended coming out as betrayal, breaking a promise or trust. However, his own battle within himself came to one conclusion that he was not in love with Winry, but loved her like family. This whole situation capitally fucked up.

Edward wanted more, and he wanted so, so much to be with Roy. To tell him that he was not in love with Winry and he would call off the wedding. The things he wanted for so long, all he ever wanted was given to him the day before, and Edward knew that if he walked out with Roy right now, he would have him tomorrow and the day after and much more to follow. But, reality is certainly a fucking bastard, because nothing had changed.

He’s still honoring his promise to Winry, with a heart that would never be hers. He was a fucking traitor. A traitor to his own heart, mind, to Roy and Winry. He could not reassure Roy that he intended to end it and be with him. He could not go up to Winry and tell her that he’d made a mistake. Edward was not a fucking coward, but this fucked up situation felt like the weight of The Gate of Truth and everything that he had been through pressing down relentlessly over his own heart, preventing it from actually clambering out and setting itself free. Free to follow his own desires for a change and to not think twice about what is actions or inactions would do to others around him. That was a forlorn hope of course, because despite his inner turmoil, one disciple remained inside. He would only cause either of them heartache or worse; he could not offer some happiness in their lives no matter what he did. One of them was going to walk away from this situation with a broken heart.

He looked at Roy, his General; his fucking entire makeup is aching for him, aching to be held BY the man that he loved and who loved him in return for however long.

“Edward, you can’t just tell me you love me and expect me to take that as a grain of sand,” Roy said in a whisper, his eyes seething with something, possessiveness perhaps. “I swear if I could crawl my way into your head and see what you’re thinking, I would. Didn’t last night mean anything to you? Why are still going through with this wedding after all that? I love you, you love me, isn’t that enough of a reason for you to call if off? You know what I’m over this—you know how much I care, but if you want, I will just say goodbye and walk away.”

Edward lips parted, the lump in his throat that was threatening to choke him escaped, “It’s enough, Roy, but you and I both know that I won’t call off the wedding.”

“Then grant me one wish, Edward?” Roy whispered, “Just one wish.”

Edward looked at him expectantly and stepped into his space to be nearer, or maybe just to beat away the aching sensation. His heart called out for him, for his wonderfully perfect Roy. “One wish, my bastard, but first will you hold onto me? I just need you to hold me tightly, please.”

“Edward?” Roy looked concerned for a moment, he took a deep breath and slipped his hand around Ed and pulled him closer, “Of course, Edward. I’ll do anything for you, my love.”

Clutching his arms, Edward breathed out the breath he was holding and wrapped his arms securely around Roy. He hugged him as tightly as he could without trying to break every bone in his body. Roy hands around his neck as he tied the tie, Edward’s memory of just a couple of hours ago, Roy’s slip up about canceling the wedding, his admission that he was willing to do whatever it is he’d wanted; it all came crashing down around him. He was no longer a stronghold beam holding his shit together; he was a cascading mess of falling bricks that wanted nothing more than to feel something solid to hold. He only wanted to feel the man he loves arms around him. He was allowed this moment, right? No one couldn’t see that he deserved this moment or not, so he could have this, right?

“I know, Roy,” he whispered, his body cold and feverish at the same time. Edward felt the familiar slide of his touch moving, caressing up and down his arms slowly. Why couldn't he just have one of those fucking happy endings that his brother is always rattling on about in his fairytale novels?

“I don’t want to let you go, I could hold you forever, and my arms would never get tired,” Roy said, then kissed Ed’s forehead.

Edward dragged his eyes towards his and gazed into his heated blue eyes, “That wish you wanted— do you want me to grant it for you?”

Roy brushed his cheek with his fingers, gently tracing his jaw and tilting his chin upwards meeting his gaze steady and enduring. Edward’s heart lurched; his knees buckled and he almost collapsed in a heap, saved by his hands that were still gripping Roy’s arms tightly.

“Edward I wish you could grant this request, and three more after, but one is enough,” Roy stepped back a little, Edward arms still clinging to him, “here you go!” he pulled out an old pocket watch from inside his jacket, “this is for you.”

Edward let his arms drop from holding onto Roy and took the offered watch in his hand and traced the delicate inlay lines skeptically, “What is this for, Roy?”

“It’s for you, Edward,” Roy said, “It was my dad’s watch that my mom gave to him when they got married. I think my mother got it from her dad and so on. It was in my family for a while. Chris gave it to me when I joined the Military, and I’m giving it to you now. So, please can you open it and stop staring at it like it’s going to bite. I promise it won’t.”

“Okay,” Edward replied hesitantly and unclasped the front catch of the vintage watch and opened it. Inside on the other side of the cogs and gears was a neatly decorative inscription, “I give you my heart and hope one day you'll return it. Until then it's yours. It has all my love, desires, hopes and dreams. Take care of it. Always now and forever, R.M.”

“Do you like it?” Roy asked, “I added the initials. I wanted to give it to you as a wedding present, but I don’t know how that would come off as— I don’t know, but I’m giving it to you now. It’s my goodbye to you, Edward.”

“I love it, Roy,” he replied, glancing up at him with tears in his eyes, his voice trembling, “It’s beautiful, Thank you.”

Edward reached up with one hand and touched his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, tracing the outline of his mouth, “Can I guess your wish, Roy?” Roy smiled and nodded his head. “Is it one last kiss? Because that’s my wish too, to share a final kiss with you?”

The only sound that came from him was a grunt of affirmation from deep within. Edward leaned into him and kissed Roy gently on the lips. He moved his hands up and around his neck, letting his fingers glide through his soft jet-black hair, while Roy circled his arms around Edward's waist, holding him closer.

“I love you, Roy. I’ve been waiting forever just to tell you that and have you return the sentiment. I’m sorry that I can’t be with you. Please don’t hate for not walking out this door with you right now, because I really want to, but—” Edward sighed, shaking his head and lowering it, resting is against Roy’s shoulder. “This is so fucked up. I should just go and call off the wedding, but— Roy, I promise to keep your heart safe forever and in return I give you mines. I love you, and no one in this world can take that away. No one!”

“Edward,” Roy whispered, “you don’t have to go—”

“Shhh,” Edward pressed a finger to his lips, “let me have this moment with you, because once I step away from your arms and turn around that is my goodbye.”

“Edward—” he smiled, it was a sad smile and lonely smile, “Edward without you— I can’t let you go. I don’t want to let you go. I thought I could just do that—I love you, so, so much, Edward. Perhaps, I can hold onto hope that even if you can’t be mine today or tomorrow, maybe in time you’ll find your way back to me.”

“Roy Mustang,” Ed whispered, tears began trickling down his cheeks. “I want you to remember this; yesterday you made me smile; today I’m smiling because of you, sad, but smiling; when I think about you tomorrow I will smile and the day after and so much more to follow. That’s all I need right now and remember,” he places one of his hands over Roy’s chest and the other on his, “we have connected here Roy, our hearts, you have mines and I yours.” And with that he kissed Roy one more time and stepped away from his embrace, “Goodbye Roy, I love you.”

Roy stared at him paralyzed, eyes devoid of any light, and Edward turned away from him, walked to the door and opened it. As he made his way to the staircase, he could have sworn he heard Roy murmured, “Goodbye, Edward, I’ll keep loving you, now forever and always.”

 

~o~

 

“Love is never ending,” Roy thought, he did not have claim over Edward, more so than anyone for that matter, but he had his love, and that’s something that no one else would ever have in this lifetime. It was a promise they made to each other; no matter if they could not be together.

Thirty minutes later and Riza is pulling into the Resembool Train Station. The drive from the Rockbell's house to the station was a quiet one. Riza did not ask him how things went with Edward, but let him wallow in his own thoughts. One could look at his face and see that he did not possess a happy thought. She pulled into the station and bid him farewell, asking him to check in with her when he arrived back to East City; from there, he planned to stay overnight and make his way to Central on Sunday morning.

After reassuring his Lieutenant that he’ll keep her updated when he got in, he took a seat on the platform bench. There was an old couple sitting on the opposite end the same man from yesterday Mr. Fenn (the ticket master, if Roy recalled right) was behind a ticket counter. The couple asked him a couple of questions, which he answered dryly. He was in no the mood to entertain locals or perhaps traveling tourists. They stopped pestering him and drew their attention to Mr. Fenn, who happily engaged the couple. They were discussing, of course, the wedding of the “Hero of the People” and his childhood sweetheart.

Hearing the three people converse about Edward’s nuptials so openly made him realize that from today onwards Edward Elric would be associated with Ms. Rockbell. He was no longer a free spirit bounded no one, but he was going to be tied to one person for the rest of his life now. Unless it does not work out, but he highly doubts that.

The conversation started to become more aroused, and out of curiosity, Roy’s ears perked up, devouring each syllable as if they were dripping with honey. They spoke of Edward and Ms. Rockbell as if they were lovers destined to be together; how Edward return to Resembool just to be with her; that he'd abandoned the Military just to come back to her. They kept embellishing their relationship as if it was a spectacle of a great love that transcended time, space, life, and death. It was all bullshit, gossip, and follies. If they wanted to talk about a love that could shatter time and space, then they need to look no further, but glance over and look at Roy himself and see that he extended all those qualities towards Edward and thus, Edward upon him.

Roy’s own voice echoed his ears, reverberating through his body like a melodic wave bouncing around, shaking his very core off its axle. (Edward’s core) His love for Edward transcended time and space, life and death. It was a beautiful thing, which continued to flourish despite, goodbyes and aching hearts. It had a life of it own, moving and evolving. No gossip monger, storyteller, author or man could capture with their words what he felt for Edward, and he knew that Edward felt the same. Here, sitting at this rural station, he knew where he had to be, what he needed to accomplish, to reach out a little bit more and recapture his beating core.

“Roy, there comes a time in life where you have to make decisions and ponder if the choices you’ve made are the right ones. The decision to risk everything for Edward; for the chance to share one lifetime with him, is a decision that I know you want to make over and over.” Hughes' voice resonated inside his head. “Go get him!”

Roy rose to his feet abruptly and sharply looked around. His heart was hammering crazily in his chest and his stomach tied in knots.

“What wrong?” Mr. Fenn asked him, “Did you forget something?”

“Yes, I did!” Roy replied, hastily, “I need to return to the town immediately. Do you have any means of transportation?”

“Sir, what did you forget?” The old couple asked him in sync.

“My heart! I left it with the person I love.” Roy said to the pair, who were holding hands, smiling up at him.

“But, Sir, why are you here if the one you love is out there?” Mr. Fenn remarked and gestured his hand towards town.

“It’s the same question I keep asking myself,” Roy stated before asking the man again about getting to town.

Mr. Fenn offered him his Palomino horse. She was old, but he told her there was no other animal capable of taking him to town in a timely fashion. Roy thanked the man sincerely and mounted the horse that was aptly named, “Sundrop.”

 

~o~

 

Roy was riding the wind, pushing the horse way beyond her limits. He gently tapped the animal reassuring her that the journey was almost over. The horse whinnied in response, and it appeared she started going faster.

Roy Mustang was set on fire, riding through Resembool, oblivious to his surroundings; The surroundings that he was perceptively aware of not even a full day ago, but to him, it felt much longer. He was riding so fast that he got some curious stares from a few farmers and people riding in their buggies. He almost collided with one of the said buggies, he yelled a quick sorry and was on his way.

There was a strange, magical rhythm to the horse and his movements; that kept pushing him along. His mind was focused on one thing only as he propelled further.

The church, he had to get to the church. He had to stop the wedding.

How long had he been riding? Thirty, maybe ten minutes, perhaps another twenty and he’ll be there. He didn’t factor in the actual amount of time it would take riding horseback to get to town as oppose to using a car. The ride from the Inn to the train depot had taken maybe twenty minutes, and with the horse, he assumed it would be more. Mr. Fenn had suggested a shorter route, and he’d have to thank the man again when he see him. He hoped he got there in time. Roy also hoped that the risk he was about to embark on was the right decision. And he sincerely expected that he still had a chance before Edward made a vow that may as well be written in a blood oath “until death do us part.”

Roy shook that thought from his mind. He had to concentrate on his destination.

The church, Edward waiting at the end of the aisle, smiling at someone he thought he was IN love with, that he perhaps love like family. Roy never did get an answer from Edward about his true feelings for Ms. Rockbell, as much as he wanted to know— well the not knowing part probably was best for his rather unstable heart at the moment.

The ceremony was starting after lunch. This thing that should have never happened, this thing that was driving a dagger slowly and deep into his heart. Edward refused to call off the wedding. He did not express to Ms. Rockbell that he did not intend to marry her or reveal to her that his heart belonged to someone else. Roy had to stop him. He did not know how the hell he was going to get past Izumi, maybe past Alphonse, perhaps Ms. Rockbell herself. He was sure that he'd probably get a smack by her flying spanner for coming to steal his Edward away. Roy really had not thought this out completely.

But, Edward had to know that what he was doing was wrong. Perhaps his conscience, which Roy knew was pure, only had the intentions to see this thing through to the end. Edward tended to put people needs before his and would never even think about himself before actually making sure that the person he cared for was happy, by all measures. Edward is unique in that respect, and he’s something special. He listened to what people had to say and thought about ways to help them or what he could do to make their lives easier. He never thought himself as better or more important than anyone else, but always and readily putting them before his needs. Sure his brilliance at both alchemy and the written word, put him in a category all by himself, but that self-resolute did not take away from his caring disposition. So, following through with this wedding because he didn’t want to make “Ms. Rockbell cry again” was expected.

Edward would never just leave his fiancée for Roy, even though what they shared was probably the best thing both of them ever experienced. Roy didn’t want it to come to this, but at the same time he couldn’t just walk away. Roy thought he could, but he couldn’t. Each time he thought about letting Edward go, it becomes just a bit harder for him to accept that he was just giving up on him, giving up what they could be together.

He was his, after all. They were kindred spirits. He could easily open Edward’s chest and peek inside and see his own heart beating core smiling up at him. They fit. They understood each other. They knew pain and loss. They could heal each other in no way any other person could. They were simply made for each other.

How long did an actual ceremony take? The priest must have a long spiel; he had been to Hughes’s and Gracia's wedding, and a few others in the past. But, he always found himself daydreaming during the proceedings, except for Hughes and Gracia wedding of course, which was beautiful.

He could see the church coming into view, and he urged the horse to slow down to an easy trot; the small white church was charming. Riza mentioned that Ms. Rockbell’s parents had been married in the small edifice and she wanted to honor that tradition, by walking down the same aisle her parents did in the past. Edward wasn't a believer in God or any sort of religion, so he was probably putting Ms. Rockbell’s wishes above his, and Roy could easily see without argument the appeal.

He pulled on the reins on the horse, slackening the bridle around the horse as it falls upon the animal’s neck. Sundrop came to a sudden stuttering stop. Roy dismounted, giving her a small pat on her head as a way of saying thank you. He gently pulled her by the bridle and guided her to a hitching rail allocated conveniently outside the church.

After securing the horse rather hastily, Roy ran up the steps of the church. He kept his mind charged with the thought of stopping the wedding. He had to stop this.

An imposing old wooden oak door with ornate wrought iron decorative trimmings stood as a barrier between him and his heart’s desire. Flowers, lanterns, white frosted branches were entwined with the door. Alchemy to doubt and Alphonse’s knack for seeing beauty in everything he did. It was cheerful, and Roy felt his insides knot, beads of sweat from own his forehead, his center of balance falter and his body shook.

Roy took a deep breath and centered himself and wrenched the door open. He did not mean for the door to crash into the wall, but it did with a loud thump. The man at the epicenter holding over the duties of ceremonies stopped, and everyone’s eyes fell upon him. They were looking at him, his friends, his team and Roy’s eyes flickered towards their perplexed stares for a brief second, but he only had eyes for Edward.

With the courage of a man with nothing else to lose, but his own happy ending, “Don’t!” he puffed out, his trek finally catching up to him. The words barely audible over the crowd before already whispering and gossiping. He paid them no mind, though.

“Don’t!” he said louder this time, pushing forward, “Don’t do it, Edward.”

Edward said nothing. His eyes settled on Roy, and his mouth dropped open in shock and his eyes widened. The blonde seemed to lose all color on his face, turning pale with each passing moment. Ms. Rockbell’s hands clutching her flowers turned white, and she looked questionably at Edward and back to Roy.

But Edward, he had stopped breathing, he was standing motionless and his eyes, those beautiful golden orbs were burning, and suddenly Roy was engulfed in flames. Edward looked ravishing. His golden locks seemed to catch all the sunlight entering through the church’s colored glass windows. The light he was emitting gave Roy an added amount of strength and courage. He was now more confident than ever, walking with more of a skip as he made his way towards the front. It seemed like the crowd had been stunned. The only person that mattered was Edward.

“Don’t do it, Edward,” he said again as he approached Edward and stood in front of him.

Still, he didn’t answer. You could hear every scrap of shoes across the stone floor, every intake of breath and still Edward didn’t say anything and neither did anyone for that matter. It was strange that no one was stopping him and demanded to know his intentions. No one could take tear their eyes away from the scene, eyes glancing back and forth between Edward and himself.

Roy twisted his lips in a smile and pulled Edward towards him, “I love you,” he said, right there, right in front of everyone. He did not care. This secret that Roy held on for so long was worth the risk, his reputation and yes his chance to become Fuhrer. He could not (would not) let Edward marry someone else, he could not let him go without making sure the entire world know that Edward Elric had taken his heart captive.

“I love you, Edward Elric,” Roy whispered and out of the corner of his eyes Roy saw movement, Alphonse— That did not deter him as he continued, “Don’t do it, don’t marry Ms. Rockbell. Please!”

“Bastard,” Ed growled, softly, “Why are you doing this? You can’t do this, Roy.”

“I love you!” Roy replied, It was the only thing left to say and the only thing that he could offer; the only thing that Edward understood, his truest intentions, his love for him. Edward was his eternity, his sun, his happy ending and his soulmate.

Edward's eyes flickered something, something knowing and he mouthed the words “fuck.” His breath caught in his throat and glanced towards Ms. Rockbell. Edward's eyes narrowed, and he locked eyes with Roy. Roy pulled him closer to him, and he shrugged from his embrace. His brows furrowed and Edward backed away, faltering in his steps.

Eyes still locked with his, and Roy said barely above a whisper, “Remember Edward, it’s always your choice.”

“My choice?” he whispered back.

Roy pulled him again towards him and gathered his hands within his. He gracefully sank to one knee, took a deep breath and looked up at “his sun.”

“I’m taking a huge romantic risk, here Edward, but I’m completely and irrevocably IN love with you. I can't remember a moment before falling in love with you, Edward. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. My heart contracts when I see you, and burst open when you’re near me. My heart was running on empty, until I met you, Edward. You burned your way inside, fueling, giving it life again—,” Roy touched his own heart. “This ticking, broken, vessel is once again alive, because of you, Edward. I can’t turn it off. I don’t want to turn it off. I handed you my heart, and now I want to share it with you completely. We could have something beautiful and wonderful together. Believe in us. That’s all I’m asking. I’m not letting you go again. I love you, Edward Elric. Please consider it.”

Edward stopped breathing again, the entire brigade in attendance had their breath held. Edward brought his eyes to Roy’s. They spoke to him as if he’d uttered words, though his ears heard nothing but the sound of his rapidly beating heart. Roy saw him, really saw him for all his heavenly glory, for everything that was Edward.

“I love you,” Roy whispered one last time. Roy’s walls stripped to its very core, smashed to rubble, exposing everything that was inside to Edward and everyone present at the church, “I haven’t lost this battle as yet Ed. I hope I still have a chance. I hope that I can still fight for you. I want to fight for you, for a life with you— but only if you let me.”

Blue orbs locked on golden and his lips were trembling, but body controlled. Edward whispered back—

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter remaining, it will be from both Ed and Winry's perspective. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and yeah comment if you want and for those who think that Winry is getting the shorter end of the straw/deal---anyways the last chapter will address that, happy endings all around. 
> 
> Sorry for the ending as well, I did intend to add Winry's part to this chapter, but I think it's fitting for the end.
> 
> So yeah!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter - Yeah!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

_**Eleven Months Later** _

Winry stood up from her work bench and made her way to the kitchen. She put a kettle on the hob and grabbed two tea cups from the shelf. It was already growing dark outside, so she let out a heavy yarn, rested her hand gently on her tummy and sat down on a bar stool to wait for the kettle to start boiling.

The gloom of the night was wafting through the kitchen window, the air was stagnant, humidity hung heavily in the atmosphere like a warm, wet blanket. It was the third consecutive day with temperatures soaring over ninety-five degrees. The hottest summer the city have experienced in a few decades. A reprieve was expected to come tomorrow evening, and Winry relished the idea of an actual thunderstorm.

She removed her bandana from her head, letting her hair fall over her shoulders, before pulling it up into a ponytail. She took a breath quietly and sighed, propping her elbow up on the table and resting her chin on her palm. Although hot and humid, there was a balmy breeze entering the space, which was soothing and Winry’s mind slipped into a daydream.

 

~o~

 

“Are you ready?” Gracia asked, admiring her handy work, then she pulled down the gauzy veil over Winry’s face, “You make a beautiful bride.”

“Gracia, I feel…” Winry lowered her head a little, “I feel like this is a…”

“It's time to begin, Winry,” Pinako said, peeking into the small waiting room before she walked up to Winry, who was standing in front of a floor mirror, “Winry, darling you look radiant. If only your parents were here to see what a beautiful young lady you've become. They both would be proud as I am of you."

Granny suddenly looked away, swiping at her left cheek, brushing away what Winry assumed were tears. She looked back at Winry, and her familiar hardened mask had slipped.

“Granny, you all right?” Winry asked as she turned around to face the older woman.

“I’m fine child, just your old granny having a genial moment of pride,” she responded, grasping Winry’s hand within hers,“Yuriy would have been the proudest father walking you down the aisle, and you are the mirror image of your mom on the day she got married.”

Winry blushed, her eyes welled with tears, “Thank you, Granny.”

“Now dear, you are ruining that make-up that Gracia painstakingly applied,” Granny scolded, the mask had been pushed quickly back into place. “You put those tears back now and walk down that aisle to marry that beansprout. I’m sure he doesn't want to see you cry on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.”

“Yes, Granny,” Winry’s voice dropped, her head down, but she held herself together.

She had been moved by Granny’s words and her openly talking about her parents. Winry wished that they were both here with her helping her do all this. She longed to talk with her Mom, to have that maternal love that only a mother provided, to asked her questions about why her stomach felt jittery if the decision to marry Edward was the right one. Maybe it was wedding day jitters, cold feet, but every time she let her mind wandered to spending the rest of her life with Ed, she had an overwhelming feeling of something. She couldn’t quite identify exactly why she kept getting this feeling, but Winry hoped that it would have stopped by the time she was dressed in her wedding gown and moments away from spending the rest of her life with her best friend or the person she’d fallen for—

“Winry, it is time,” Gracia said, “are you okay?”

Winry nodded, “I'm all right!” Gracia regarded her for a moment before she offered her a handkerchief. “Honestly, I am.” Winry took the handkerchief and dabbed under both eyes. “It’s just that Granny came in here and said all that stuff about my parents and I don’t know—”

“You don’t look fine, Winry,” Gracia replied, “I understand the sentiment and your need to remember your parents and what your grandmother said was very kind and sweet, but you were going to say something earlier before you were interrupted. Are you perhaps having second thoughts about marrying Edward? Because while it is entirely reasonable, if doubts continue, you should listen to that inner voice. It is best to be sure about these sort of things before you commit to a life that you don’t want.”

Winry looked at the other woman and blinked in surprise. “I’m not sure, Gracia but I know that I don’t want to disappoint Granny and she looked genuinely happy. I’ll be the happiest woman alive to be married to Edward. So I’m fine. Where’s my bouquet?”

Gracia handed her the flowers, and held a set of our own in her hand, “He will make you happy. He’s just that kind of person.”

Winry just hoped that she was enough to make him happy.

Granny walked in front of Winry, and she stepped into the aisle, flanked by white wooden pews that led to the front of the altar. She forced herself to look down the aisle where she knew Edward would be standing, but when her eyes reached him, his head was held low.

Good gracious, he was handsome. He stood out from everyone else, and it was not because of what he wore, or that he now stood head and shoulders with everyone. He was different; he did not blend in with any crowd, and she’d always admired his individuality. She didn't always feel this way, a feeling of love, but as time went on, she saw him as her personal savior, this person whose intellect and burning passion for life gave her fuel to pursue own her goals. She slowly started to develop feelings that were perhaps love, but different from the love that she held for him regarding how closely they grew up together.

When he proposed to her, or what she’d thought was a proposal, she was slightly taken back, but then Winry realized it was exactly what she wanted. To have this person that was larger than life itself be with her and to choose her above anyone else. She knew that after he chooses to be with her, she would not really have him completely.

He’d said, _“I’ll give you half of my life, and you give me half of yours!”_ and she’d blurted out that she’d give him her whole life and got even more flustered changing the amount. It was not the most conventional way to propose, but he would always and forever treat everything grounded in the basics of Alchemy. She always wondered why he would just offer 50% and not his whole life and even lamented on who the other 50% belonged to.

It could not be Alphonse. Edward loved him and that kind of love; the love you held for a family member did not require any sort of percentages to determine its value. Despite the feeling of always questioning herself on who the other half of his life belonged, she still wanted that half that he’d promise to share.

She wanted a promise filled with passion, the promise of love and laughter, but he’d yet to tell her those three words. Whenever she uttered them to him, his only response every time was “same.” Maybe it was an Edward Elric thing, but she’d hoped by now he would have said them back or expected that he would.

Winry questioned herself if she was making the right decision as she processed down the aisle, his head was still hung low. She wanted to see his face, if only he would look at her. Alphonse nudged him, and he’d looked up and then towards her. The look in his eyes and expression on his face was forcibly and registered something, something she was feeling; it was uncertainty. Did he too want to reconsider getting married? He never once showed any indication that he did not want to go through with the wedding.

She clutched the bouquet in her hand nervously and made her way to the front, she nodded to the priest, to Alphonse, and finally she let her eyes settled on Edward’s eyes. He took a step towards her with an outreached hand, she swallowed, took a deep breath and gripped his hands in hers.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered in her ear and kissed her on the cheek.

“Thank you!” She blushed and smiled nervously in return before the priest cleared his throat and began the ceremony.

_“We are gathered together here today, to unite Edward Elric and Miss Winry Rockwell in the bonds of matrimony. Marriage is sacred and should not be entered lightly or in jest and only after much consideration._

_Edward Elric: Do you take Winry Rockwell to be your lawfully wedded wife, to obey, to serve her, love, honor in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for when you are down on your luck, keeping yourself solely unto her as for as long as you both shall live. If, so answer ‘I do.’”_ The priest called.

Edward was holding her hand, and he was about to open his mouth—

BANG!

Winry turned around, and so did everyone else, only to see General Roy Mustang standing in the doorway of the chapel, panting, hair disheveled and she heard him say but one word—

“Don’t!"

Winry's heart stopped. What was he saying? She’d never showed any indication that she fancied him, but he was not looking at her, he only had eyes for Edward.

“Don’t!” He said louder this time, gripping the pews as he made his way up the aisle, “Don’t do it, Edward.”

Winry's hands clenched around her bouquet tightly, the stems cutting through her palm. She looked at Edward and then towards General Mustang, questions swirled around in her head. Her heart was beating so fast, if she dared to take a breath or saying a single word, it would come out as a hoarse whisper. She looked around the room, the entire assembly of people were stunned into complete silence.

She caught Hawkeye’s eyes for a brief second; the woman grimaced and looked away. She glanced towards Al, and he too was at a complete loss of any bodily movements. Granny was watching her, and she looked at Edward. He appeared like he’d just taken his last breath and he was staring at General Mustang — and his eyes —she’d never seen them that bright before, not even when he returned with Alphonse’s body to Resembool. It is like someone had replaced the golden irises with two bright suns and they were casting off flares so vivid and intense. Edward’s eyes were burnished a precious gold and heat they were giving off was directed to only one person: General Roy Mustang.

“Don’t do it, Edward,” Mustang said again.

Winry’s eyes snapped back to the man approaching Edward, flickering briefly away from him and back to Edward. He stood in front of Edward and smiled and pulled Edward towards him at the wrist. He was smiling, and not a casual smile, or the smug smile he always had on his face. It was meaningful and a rarity. She was sure it’s a smile that you reserved for someone special, some that you—

“I love you,” he told Edward, Winry’s heart dropped into her stomach. Her bouquet slipped from her hand hitting the floor in a soft, barely audible thud.

Gracia murmured beside her, “Oh, my!”

Another person from the audience said, “I knew it” and another “There goes his chance at the Fuhrership” and another “I didn’t know he swung that way.”

Shouldn’t someone stop him? She should stop him, but— a nagging part of her brain wanted to see it play out, to see what Edward would say to such a declaration.

He’d whispered to Edward again, “I love you.”

Winry saw that Alphonse had taken a step forward. She signaled to him to stop, though. General Mustang was advising Edward that he should not marry her and Winry didn’t know what to do. What he was saying had frozen her in place, and when Edward responded to him and called him by his first name _“Roy”_ — her breath caught in her throat. Her heart was flopping around in her stomach. Mustang expressed to him again that he loved him, Winry’s eyes started to burn. Edward looked at her for a fraction of a second and back towards Mustang, and he explained to Edward that it was his choice, the breath knocked out of her. When Edward replied softly with a hint of hopefulness in his voice, _“My choice”_ she knew that the other 50% of his life was never meant hers; it was meant for him. For General Roy Mustang, who’d sunk to his knees and was reciting words of grandeur in the name of love.

“I love you,” the General had uttered in a supportive manner, “I haven't lost this battle as yet Ed. I hope I still have a chance. I hope that I can still fight for you. I want to fight for you, for a life with you, but only if you let me.”

A tiny gasp escaped her throat, her body quickly thawing itself from whatever the hell was keeping it frozen and she found her voice again, parched from the lack of saliva, “Edward?” she’d croaked, but he didn’t hear her. His eyes were locked onto General Mustang’s, and his lips parted— She called out his name again, her voice muffled and feeble, but slowly regaining its strength.

“Edward,” she’d growled. He’d whipped his head around, and he looked at her confusion written all over his face. “Edward what’s going on? Why is Mr. Mustang saying that he loves you?”

He looked at in at her bewildered and then he’d glanced back at General Mustang, who nodded his head, then back to her again. “I’m sorry!” he spoke slowly to her, “I should have told you before, but I didn't know what to say— You planned all this when I was away. I only said a couple of months ago that I wanted to share my life with you, half of it. I didn’t expect that we’ll be getting married so soon. I went along with all this because I thought I was in love with you. I didn’t know at the time that the love I have for you was only the love that I have for someone who I regard as family. I’m sorry Winry, and I don’t mean to sound harsh or anything like that — but I’m not in love with you. The kind of love that you were perhaps hoping for, it’s something that I can’t offer you.”

Winry closed her eyes for a moment then opened them again. Mustang raised himself to his feet and took Edward’s hand in his and stood beside him. She stared at them in disbelief and took a deep breath.

 _“It was now or never,”_ she thought. Isn't this what she was hoping for, for Edward to realize that he didn’t want to go through with the marriage? She looked around the church, and entire melee was watching them like they were performing in a theater. Bated breaths were waiting for the drama to unfold. She didn’t even register when Granny had stood up and was standing next to her. Her eyes fell upon a familiar figure smiling in the back of the church. A feeling of warmth washed over her, and she turned back to face Edward.

“Edward, I was waiting for you to wake up and open your eyes and recognize that you didn’t care for me as you thought you did,” she said, paused, and shook her head. “I’m sorry too that I let this go this far. I supposed I wanted to be with you so badly because of what you represented. You have this light all around you Ed; it's like you’re untouchable and you have all this power to change the world— save the world. You did exactly that Ed; you saved Amestris, and I guess I wanted to see what you’ve seen through your eyes. I hated when you never told me stuff, and I was always stuck here in Resembool, and when you’d visit to have your automail repaired, I craved to be with you even more. Edward, you were changing, no longer a child, but this amazing, gorgeous man, that was living his life free and unencumbered. Sure you were trying to get Al’s body back, but you were living your life as you pleased. When you burned down your family home and left…”

Edward and General Mustang looked at her intently, both their hands are firmly gripping one another.

Pretending to herself that seeing them cling to each other did not hurt one bit, she refused to shed tears and continued, “I thought that the only way for me to feel closer to you is to tell myself that I loved you and to let those feelings take over. And they did just that Edward. They took over. When you finally came back home, I was so happy for both you and Al, and I thought I was finally going to get my chance to be by your side, but during those two years, nothing happened. I was back in Rush Valley working; you were helping Al recuperate, and we still didn't get any closer, until you made the decision that you and Al would continue to gain even more knowledge about ALCHEMY and see the rest of world. Again, you were going to walk out my life and leave me behind and then you said what you said at the train station, and I finally had my chance, my chance to be with you. I guess it was just a hopeless dream because I could never be anything more than just your friend Edward, right? You see me like family, and I can accept that now, and it’s something that I won’t trade for anything, to have both you and Al in my life. Maybe I too needed a wake-up call—”

“Why didn’t you say anything before, Winry?” Edward asked, expressing regret or sorrow in his tone.

“I don’t know Edward,” she looked away from him and found the familiar face still smiling at her. “I guess I needed to find myself and I did that Edward, I found myself in Rush Valley along with my own gear-head.”

Edward regarded her curiously and turned his head in the direction she was looking, “You mean, that you and—”

She nodded.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, “I didn’t know.”

“You would have never known, either,” she’d admitted, “I thought that if I finally had you then I didn’t need anyone else and Edward you probably would have made me quite happy and I’d hope to do the same for you. But I can see that I could never be that person for you. I could never be that person that lit your eyes like torches.” Shuddering a breath, she looked at him sternly, “He’s your alchemy freak, right?”

Edward's eyes flared, into something, it was the same something he had earlier when General Mustang had stopped the wedding, and they were both lost in their own little world. It was the something that she always wanted from him, but could never or would never for that fact ever receive. It was love; he was in love with General Mustang, and he didn't have to say it to her, she could see it his face, the way their hands entwined as if any outside force could never separate them. The way his body seemed to mold to Mustang’s without even so much as moving a single body part.

Dear God was this going to be her goodbye to him. All those years of pining from afar and not knowing what he was doing, what he was thinking, who he loved or didn’t. Did she spend the all those years thinking that she loved him, and Edward would love her in return? Or he had but came to the conclusion that it was not the kind of deep empowering love which he encompassed for him. (A man at that, someone who was older than him, who was once his commanding officer. Who is the most influential person she’d ever met.)

She clearly was no match for General Mustang, and certainly, there’s no way she could ever do what he did, brave or cowardly. She could not compromise herself in the matter of which he affluently professed _“he was taking a_ _romantic risk”_ and he’d “handed his heart to Edward and wanted to share it with him completely.” He was someone who understood what he wanted and was going to strive to get it, even if she was in the way or not. If he hadn't interrupted the ceremony, would Edward have indeed pledged himself to her solely or would she always have to compete with General Mustang for his affections, for his heart, which undoubtedly already had been given away?

But in truth, she did not know that he was in with love another, so even if they’ve gotten married and he’d whisked her away in the joys of a new blushing bride, would he’d have regretted later the implications of this life changing occurrence and become reclusive and shun her away. Perhaps he may not have sequestered himself in that manner, but he would have taken to be continuously on the move, and again leaving her behind.

She could threaten and demand of him to honor the commitment to marry her. She could do it and make him see that he was not in love with someone else, but probably just having cold feet, simple wedding day jitters. She wanted to be the one to make him happy. The one to kiss away his nightmares. She wanted to touch him, and have him hold her tight, and she wanted to be the person he needed.

Something in her blaze with fury and not because General Mustang stopped her wedding or that he’d somehow stepped in front of Edward and was shielding him.

Is this the reason he’d never said he love her? That he couldn’t say, “I love you, Winry” because he’d already shared that part himself with him?

“You don’t deserve him,” Winry cringed at what she’d just said, the words fell out her mouth before she realized that they were in her head, on the precipice waiting to be said aloud.

“Winry!” Edward bit off, “Please don’t do this. You’ve already said all that you can, and I’m truly sorry, Winry, and he is my alchemy freak. I love him.” She watched him squeezed General Mustang’s hand, and he’d returned the gesture.

Breathe, breathe. Why was she reacting all of sudden? She looked down at her hands and saw she was gripping her wrench. She hadn’t registered when she’d pulled it out from under her wedding gown.

Two firm hands clamped around her wrists, the tool falling to the ground, and the person spun her around and held her tightly, and in a soothing voice, “It’s okay, Winry.”

She was torn; ripped from the seams and significantly embarrassed now. She was suffused by the knowledge that she could never in this lifetime convey to Edward with words or actions the kind of love that he sought; an 'impossible love.' It was an arduous undertaking to epitomize a love personified by myth, even if it was on a small scale. She’d turned Edward into his own taboo, a symbolic representation of truth and power. She’d essentially created an image of Edward that was dipped in a _mirage_ ; embodying an essence of loyalty, happiness, and love.

He was a fantasy cloaked by charms and enchantments, and with opened eyes, the disillusion of reality is startling, unsettling, but theirs a bright side because she’d found a new comfort and discovered herself along the way. And even if her love for him doesn't embody the kind of love that General Mustang is equipped with, to supply Edward, she can give him the love of a friend, of a family.

She looked to the person that held her so unyielding and let her tears fall. They weren't tears that Edward could protect her against, not anymore, they were hers alone, the ones that she kept buried inside. It was her time to be sensitive to her own pain and not the pain of others. She wasn't selfish in that respect and would always concern herself with the well-being of others. However, this one time she would be self-absorbed and cry.

Winry hugged her arms around the person holding her and whispered in their chest, “I’ll let him go for you.”

She swallowed back the tears and turned back towards Edward, “Please, forgive me for my comment earlier. I’m in no position to judge you or Mr. Mustang on what you apparently share. I’m really sorry my reaction seemed condescending, or it came off a bit callous. I’ve come to an understanding that I was not in love with you Edward, but that doesn't mean I don’t love you because I do and I will always love you.”

 

~o~

 

“Win…” Winry shook herself free out of the daydream, ”Didn’t you hear the kettle whistling, sweetheart?”

Winry looked up at her husband blankly and rubbed her eyes. She was startled when she heard his voice. “Oh, Adam you’re home! Sorry, my mind was a million miles away, and I didn’t hear it.”

“Is everything okay?” He asked worried and touched her tummy, “do I need to call the doctor?” 

“No! We are both fine, thank you,” she answered, then leaned up to kiss him, but Adam met her halfway and stroked her cheek lightly as he kissed on the lips. 

“Good,” he murmured, brushing his lips against her cheeks before he straightened up, “I’ll finish preparing the tea and next we can decide where to go for dinner tonight.”

Winry touched her cheek and felt a slight burn. His touch always left a searing mark on her skin that permeated her body. 

She’d met Adam about a couple of years ago when she moved to Rush Valley to start her apprenticeship. His father’s company was the primary supplier of Automail raw materials; Hartley Industries. It could have been love at first sight if she wasn't already convinced that she’d loved Edward. They'd forged a friendship quickly and intellectually focused on one thing; Automail. She admired his love for Biomechanics and the application of prostheses and orthoses using automail. He'd rehabilitated veterans, athletes and just about anyone who needed to find their way back after losing a limb, pro-bono in a small clinic he’d set up. She’d actually consulted a few times at the clinic and spent many days helping attached new automail limbs to patients.

She’d look at him and saw they shared similar ideas and beliefs. If he weren't standing there right now humming to himself, she'd believe he was a dream. It was like he'd peeped one day at her internal diary and said, 'Ah, here's how I can seduce Winry.' Seduce ha! She'd almost laugh at that thought because that was the furthest thing away from what they had in the beginning. 

They'd meet up for coffee, lunch and sometimes dinner and get lost in talking about Automail; what materials to use to enhance the mechanics, how to make it lighter, functionality. They'd get completely enraptured by the new prospects that they'd both lose track of time and then laugh at their own silly behavior. It was good until she left and met up with Edward and the events surrounding the Promise day.  They'd kept in touch, but she always longed to return to the life she found in Rush Valley. A life that was her own. 

During the two years after Alphonse's body returned she shared her time between Resembool and Rush Valley. She'd also saved enough money to buy herself a small studio and set up her very own shop. Adam was there, and it seemed like they had never spent a single day apart. She'd missed his friendship, and he also missed hers. 

He'd invited her to dinner one night to catch up, and he was nervous throughout the entire evening. It was so unlike him. When he told her that he loved her, she'd been flabbergasted. She'd suspected, but hearing him say those words to her. It was something that she'd dream of hearing for a long time, but from someone else.   
She couldn't remember the last time someone actually candidly said, "Winry, I love you." If her memory serves her correctly, she'd only had the recollection of words said to her by her parents and those always got lost in a box of memories she'd hold dear to heart. 

The _"I love you"_ which Adam confessed to her was a love she'd always hoped for and didn't know what do with his offering words at the time.

She'd taken his hands in hers and her voice almost wistful, “Adam I…”

But he didn't let her finish that statement and simply said with a saddened expression, “Edward. You're waiting on him.”

How foolish she was that she'd let him go in hopes that Edward would one day see her? And he did, he saw her, and he'd propose (fashionably in Edward's style), and she was overjoyed and satisfied. She'd quickly planned the wedding because she couldn't let the opportunity of being with Edward slipped through her grasp. He returned from the West, and they were happy, or she assumed he was, but she was very happy. She was walking on air just standing next to him, and the thought of being his wife had captured her completely. 

However, appearances can be deceiving, and Edward was in love with someone else. After some heavy bereavement, she'd finally let go of Edward. It was not easy, but she did it, and the connectedness and companionship she shared with Adam were worth it.

“Do you mind if we stay in for dinner? I have been sitting on my bench all day, and I think this little monster…,” she placed on hand warmly on her belly, “wants his mommy to rest.”

“Sure, anything for you, darling!” Adam replied, “tea, for my beautiful lady.”

Winry blushed at the compliment, “I love you, you know.”

“I do know, and I love you even more.” 

 

~o~

 

 

_**Final Part** _

_**Two Years Later** _

Edward had awoken before the alarm sounded off, rose from the bed, padded barefooted to the bathroom and close the door behind him. He ran a bath, and while the water filled up, he brushed his teeth and shaved. Edward stepped in the tub soon after sinking in the depths of the scented warm water. He inattentively thought about the previous night celebrations and festivities that he’d attended. While some of them maintain a decorum of civility, others were frivolous, but the one that stood out was the inauguration ball.

Roy was sworn into the presidency and everything that followed was a whirlwind of excitement, anticipation and a joy of completing a long journey to the office of Fuhrer. When he had been announced in the ballroom as Fuhrer Roy Mustang, the announcement threw the crowd in a tumult of enthusiasm. Clinks of glassware rang out throughout the room and the thunderous sound of hands clapping in reverence was astounding.

Edward had looked on in amazement at the man he loved in admiration. He looked dapper in his military dress uniform, and the four stars on either shoulder were radiating with dignity. Roy had navigated the room and approached his people calm and self-possessed and extending gratitude and with grace and efficiency. When he stepped in front of Edward, extending his hand and ask him if he'd share a dance with him, Edward gazed at him hesitantly. Roy looked at him with steely blue eyes, steadily never leaving his face and Ed had wondered if Roy could read his mind. Consequently yes, because Roy leaned into him and whispered in his ear that he was so nervous that his teeth were probably turning to dust because he kept grinding them. He’d also reassured Ed that if he was perturbed about the onlookers, that he’d need not worry because what people thought about them didn’t matter as long had they had each other.

Edward looked down at his proffered hand, took it, and Roy had led him onto the dance floor. His hands that have seen hell, but escaped bringing heaven along with them, seized Edward’s entire being and they’d dance the night away.

Edward looked up and wasn't in the least bit surprised when the door to the bathroom opened, and Roy stepped into the room. He sauntered over to the bathtub, dressed in black pajama bottoms, bare-chested, his hair tousled, a couple of unruly black strands stuck up in the air, his perfect face dotted with a light morning shadow.

“I hope this isn't a private bath?” he shot Edward a wry smile, before leaning down and placing a kiss on his forehead, “I miss you this morning.”

“Bastard,” Ed grumbled, though his lips formed into a small smile, “I just left the bed a few minutes ago.”

Roy discarded his bottoms and stepped into the tub, pulling Edward flush against his body. He leaned his head on Ed’s shoulder, “I rolled over, and you weren’t there, and I didn’t like that feeling.”

“What feeling?” Edward asked, his cheek pressing against the warmth of Roy’s face over his shoulder.

Roy sighed heavily, “The feeling that one day you’ll wake and realize that you don’t want me anymore.”

“Are you an idiot? Fuck, don’t answer that.” Edward turned his head sideways and kissed Roy on his lips; he used his index and tilted Roy’s chin upwards, “Take a good look at me and listen what I’m saying Roy. Do you remember what happened two years ago? I hope you do, because fuck Roy, what you did and said at that time was fucking everything and more. I love you with all me heart, your heart. I don’t say those words out of habit because it’s what you’d expect of me. I say them because of you; Roy you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Whenever I’m with you, near you, away from you, my heart, our heart beat frantically, it’s racing right now because of you. You, Fuhrer Roy Mustang make me so fucking happy. I love you. I truly do.”

“Edward.”

“Shhh, don’t say anything. Just show me.”

Roy captured his lips in a bruising kiss with a fierceness like he’d never kissed Edward before. It was intoxicating and possessively overflowing with a song of love, pure and forever.

Edward thought it was beautiful.

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing this story. I love the end, especially writing from Winry's perspective. I didn't know if I could pull her off, I tried and I think it brings the story to a close nicely.
> 
> If anyone noticed the way I tried to write her love for Edward--- Winry see him as a Savior and my favorite line that explains that love for him, "She’d essentially created an image of Edward that was dipped in a mirage; embodying an essence of loyalty, happiness, and love." 
> 
>  
> 
> Please by all means let me know if it was a good end.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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